Heavy stuff for a Saturday...

Why do people do bad things to children? All the violence in the schools this week makes me unbelievably sad. I mean really, the Amish?? What did they ever do to you? Nothing. They are peaceful and unobtrusive. And yet a man broke into their school and killed little girls. Killed them with the intent to rape them first. I can't believe I am saying this outloud, but at least he *only* killed them. Those poor girls in the Colorado school shootings were apparently raped first. The last moments of that poor girl's life were hellish. And that's the thought her parents have to live with.
Can I just say right now...this is my worst fear. My biggest nightmare. That someone will take one of my children and harm them in this way. I can't even think it without getting emotional. And really, God forbid this ever happen, the guy who does it better kill himself, because hell hath no fury like a mama. I would need to be locked in a rubber room for the rest of my life. I can't imagine losing a child.
I have been thinking about these horrifying things all week. I'm hoping now that I have written it down that it will leave the recesses of my mind. I think it makes me so insane because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. You want to believe that you can protect your children from the horrors of this world, but there are things out there that no one can protect them from. You can't keep them in a bubble. No matter how badly you want to. You have to let them ride bikes with their friends and look for bugs under rocks in the woods and just generally be kids. I wonder if our parents worried about predators lurking behind bushes when we were kids? I rode my bike down the street by myself in the dark. My best friend lived about 10 houses down from us and I often left her house after dark and rode home. I could never do that with Justin. Granted, I was in 4th grade at the time and he is in 1st, but in 3 years will I feel differently? I don't think so. We currently live at the back of a court. Justin walks to his friends house that is 4 or 5 houses away just at the edge of the court circle. I watch him out the window until he gets there. I wonder if I will ever not feel like I have to keep an eye on him while he plays outside. Don't even get me started on the Boy Scouts. Justin just joined and I informed Matt he will forever have to go on campouts with him. Sorry, not that I don't trust people, but how many stories have we heard about those 'trusty Boy Scout leaders' taking advantage of little boys. Makes me want to vomit on my keyboard right now. I want to protect my kids as much as I can. Unfortunately I have to send them to school. I can be thankful that there is only 1 unlocked door in the building and it is directly in front of the principal's office. There is a margin of safety, but it's never enough.
OK...go on about your lives. Sorry for the downer.