it's friday...

so let the friday funnies continue. The dogs are feeling slighted, so it's funny dogs this week :)
Enjoy..

gym nirvana...

oh my. I have lived most of my adult life using my local YMCA as my gym. I'm not a gym snob. I only need the bare essentials. I've never seen the need for a big, pretty, expensive gym. I'm not a huge fan of exercise. I make myself do it, and then I feel better, but I still have to make myself. The Y that we used in Michigan was NICE. It was not new, but they had great equipment, a great staff, a super hot trainer...you get the picture. Then we moved to Ohio. We found out they opened a !! NEW Y!! right across the main street that our subdivision runs off of. A mere 3 min drive from my garage. Only, it was not so much a new Y as it was a REALLY old building that they inherited. But it had new equipment. All I need is an elliptical and a treadmill to keep me happy (or so I told myself) because it's so close to home!! So convenient!! Only they were supposed to start renovations last Fall and never did. It is a dump with new equipment and I despise the woman who runs the kid's playroom. She's always late opening it and makes me late for classes. ALWAYS LATE. Major pet peeve for me.
Anyway...our year long commitment with them was coming to a close and I was trying to decide whether I was going to continue to give them my money in hopes that they would somehow, someday have enough to begin renovation and, oh I don't know, start by adding a locker room. Did I mention it was a dump? Then last week my mom mentioned that the uber-fabulous gym she belongs to was running a special where she could add me to her existing membership for only $29 a month. I was wary because I knew it was too good to be true. Except it was true. I joined last weekend and ventured in today for my first workout.
To call it uber-fabulous does not do it justice. They have a cardio cinema. Seriously. An actual movie theater filled with cardio equipment. I worked out for over an hour today on an elliptical machine while watching Ocean's 11. Brad Pitt & George Clooney make you forget that your thighs are burning because you're on an ellitical machine. Because, you know, they make my thighs burn just with their mere presence. And the cardio cinema is only ONE of the 9 million amenities that are now mine to enjoy. One of my favorite things about it is the kid's playroom. It has a climbing gym inside of it. Like McDonalds- only clean. The walls are lined with cool toys and books and paper and crayons and and and....it is perfection :)
It is so wonderful that I keep waiting for someone to walk up to me and say "I'm sorry, maam. There was mix up and you have to go back to the dump you were formerly a member of. Buh-bye" If they do you'll hear my cries of despair from miles away.

if you don't think this is funny...

you need to get your head checked. Friday funnies continues. You have to give this one a minute because the very beginning lacks funny at all. Then the music changes and you'll need to have on your Depends undergarments. Or maybe I'm just a sadistic cat owner. Because I'm dying to see if I can make Pickles fly, by hooking a ball to our ceiling fan.

ain't no other man...

because i can switch from bitch to sweet in 0-6 seconds, I'm switching gears. To wish my man a Happy Birthday :) In his honor, I will list the 36 reasons I love him so good. Since he's 36 and all.

1. He and I don't see eye to eye on music. AT ALL. And yet he rarely whines about having to drive in the car with me listening to country music. Even though it sometimes makes his ears bleed.

2. He can fall asleep in under 5 seconds if he is sitting down.

3. We can carry on an entire conversation around him as he sleeps, with no response until we make fun of him. He always gets us with an "I heard that"

4. He loves giving our kids a bath. I hate it. Enough said.

5. He knows random trivia about everything. He rocks at Trivial Pursuit.

6. Also, he can make Jeopardy! entertaining.

7. He taught my 18 year old brother & his girlfriend that you can't read a fortune cookie without putting "in bed" at the end of the fortune. You have to know my brother to understand why that is so damn funny.

8. He can watch ESPN all day long. Wait, I hate that about him.

9. When he walks into a room and I am watching Sweet Home Alabama for what has to be the 875th time, he might just sit down and watch it with me.

10. Only 10? This is going to take forever! He can listen to me bitch about my mother without ever reminding me that I am JUST LIKE HER.

11. That thing he does when he lifts the lid of every container and says the same stupid phrase to whatever food is inside.

12. That he can't play a video game of ANY KIND without using his tongue.

13. He thinks he's a good dancer.

14. He dances in public.

15. He requires a hug every day when he gets home. Requires it.

16. He also still likes to hold my hand in public. Awwwww....

17. He doesn't roll his eyes at my ignorant ideas. Well almost never.

18. He helps with the massive quantity of dogs at my parent's house. Most husbands would give you a "hell no". He does it, and does it well.

19. He lets me hog the bed AND the covers.

20. He scratches my back whenever I ask.

21. I have used 'The Promise' on him more times than I care to admit and it still works. I guess he always can hope?

22. He gets up first almost every morning and gets the house running so I can have a few minutes extra sleep. Back off girls. He's mine. You can't have him.

23. He never says "spaghetti again?"

24. He goes to the store for me. At 11:30 pm when I remember we have no milk for tomorrow morning.

25. If I am craving wings at 10 pm he can also be persuaded to get them for me. See #21.

26. Yes. He spoils me. It's one of the things I love :)

27. 2006 Valentine's Day gift. It was one for the husband of the year record books. I wish I had blogged it so that I could share it now, but it was gooood.

28. He accepts my family. No really.

29. He thinks his mom likes me.

30. He tries to be open-minded everytime I decide on the spur of the moment to paint/rearrange/redecorate any given room in our house.

31. He lets me think I'm right. Even when I know I'm wrong and don't want to admit it.

32. He has not one time looked at my pile o' scrapbooking equipment and said "seriously? What else could you possibly need?"

33. Same goes for shoes.

34. He understands my need for 20 minutes of alone time at night and usually wrangles the kids so I can have it.

35. He has never given me shit for telling him before we were married that I needed a clause written into the contract. 'If and when Tom Cruise came to sweep me off my feet, our marriage contract was null and void'. Seriously, Amy? Tom Cruise? I was so young and naive. **I** give **myself** shit about it, he never has.

36. He still needs me to match his pants/shirt/shoes at least 3 times a week.

and one to grow on....

*****He is the world's greatest husband/daddy/person that I know and I am so glad I got talked into dating him.

If there are 57 heinous spelling errors in this post, it's blgger's fault. The spell check isn't working :)

life on the tundra- day 11,510 give or take....

to quote my husband's favorite comedian ever (chris farley) "holy schnikeys" it's cold out there today.
I shouldn't complain outloud since a couple of my loyal readers reside in Minnesota where the term "freeze your ass off" doesn't begin to describe the tundra they are currently in. However, I'm in my own frozen wasteland, so bitch away I will. It is COLD. DAMN COLD. It seems like we always hit this run of freeze in February. Where it's so freakin' cold you think you might just succumb to hyperthermia before spring rears it's glorious head. I haven't succumbed yet. But I do bitch about it. Because have I mentioned it's coooold?

In other news, the chiclets are all fighting off a dread virus. Because they love me best, they decided to share it with me. Awwww.. thanks guys! So sweet! The snot here in this house is copious. And we all know how fun it is when the snot in your nose freezes because it's so DAMN COLD OUTSIDE? Oh, the joys of winter!

friday funnies...

because my day has SUCKED so far, i need something funny. I found this youtube clip on another blog I read and had to share, because it had me rolling. I love me some kitty outtakes :)

jammie day...

it's a blah, yucko, rainy day here. The kind that always makes me want to forego the shower and stay in my jammies all day watching chic flicks on TBS. Except that when you have 3 kids, that is somewhat impossible. I can forego the shower and stay in my jammies if I want to get weird looks from the neighbors at the bus stop, but staying in bed all day and watching movies? Not gonna happen.
Today Ryan is giving me a little of my rainy day wish. He is sick, so he stayed home from school. His only request besides pancakes, was that we stay in our jammies and watch movies. Never one to deny a sick child, we are making our movie list for the day :) I doubt I'll get to watch chic flicks, but if I'm lucky his entire list won't be comprised of Star Wars episodes and Hot Wheels movies.

let the music continue....

o.k. I'm starting to get addicted to searching youtube. Whatever will I do when Jen returns and takes over the music world again?? Kidding.
This one is posted for your listening pleasure because it's FEBRUARY! The month of LOOOOOOOOOVE.....
While this isn't our official "song", or maybe it is??? Matt??? Is this our song??? Whatever, I can't even hear the opening notes of this song without being immediately transported back to the summer of '94. Steamy summer nights in the frat house.....

jen's on vacation....

so I'm filling in the music for this week. Lucky for her she's gone, because I'm guessing two doses of country music in one week might cause her ears to bleed.
This one is chosen because I cannot believe in is the end of January already. I just started to write 2008 on things without having to think 4 times about what year it really is. And already the first month of '08 is outta here! Just this past weekend, I heard the parent of a teenager lament on how fast it has all really gone for her, and how when her kids were younger she rolled her eyes when people told her to enjoy every day because it would go by so fast. Admit it- who hasn't done the same? Because when you're in the middle of chasing three kids all running in opposite directions at the park in 90 degree, humid weather, the toddler years can't go by fast enough sometimes. But already, my oldest is nearing 8 and I can't believe how fast his life has rushed by me.
So just remember...don't blink.

that's not MY dog...

ryan was the star of the week at preschool last week. This is a BIG DEAL in the world of a 3 yr old. It was sort of a pain in the ass for me because he had to do this "all about me" poster. And because he is 3, it was not so much HIS homework as it was MINE. The hardest part was the oval in which he was supposed to put a picture of his 'pet'. Because, you know, normal people have 1 or 2 animals and we have like, 47 or something. OK...not 47...but we have several critters. We decided to leave off pictures of the fish (it is technically Justin's) and the pig (it is technically Hannah's) so in the oval we had to fit pictures of the 3 dogs and the cat. Not only do we not own 1 picture of all 4 together, our 2 oldest dogs haven't been photographed well for approximately 8 years. So I found so puppy-ish pictures of Shasta and Baxter and trimmed them up and fit them in the oval with Stanley & Pickles (don't ask) (Ryan named Pickles- because Pickles is the perfect name for a cat. Of course.) (like I said, don't ask)

ANYWAY... yesterday it was someone else's turn to take over star of the week position so Ry's teacher handed me back his poster. She stopped me as I turned to leave and said "Are those really your dogs?" I did a double (perhaps triple) take and said "uhhh, yes?? Why do you ask?" She said that Ryan had a chance to talk about all of the stuff on the poster and when she pointed to Shasta and Baxter he had not one clue who they were. I looked at my son like he was an alien and said, "Ryan...you know who these dogs are! Who is this?"(pointing to Shasta) He then looked at me like I was an alien- can't you just feel the love in our family- and said "I don't KNOW mom!" I told him he was silly because of course it was Shasta! He again rolled his eyes at his alien of a mother and said "No mom, Shasta has a white beard. This dog has a black one. You picked the wrong dog."

How to explain the aging dog to a 3 yr old? Poor Shasta and Baxter are apparently unrecognizable in their younger years to their own chiclets. I admit Baxter doesn't look a BIT like he did 8 yrs ago, but Shasta...I didn't think she had changed much. I guess she has.

In the end we all got a good laugh about the fact that it was the first time this year that a kid didn't recognize a pet on his own poster. Ryan gets to keep his one of a kind status :)

In her defense, Shasta has earned every single white in her 'beard'. She has the patience of a saint-dog. And 3 chiclets that make her earn her white the honest way.

just a grain of sand...

sometimes certain songs speak to me. I can hear it a hundred times or more and then one day I'll hear it for the 101st time and BLAM it suddenly means something to me. Today Carrie Underwood wins the prize.
I have some people in my life who are dealing with various struggles. Some bad, some worse, all of them stressful and weighing them down. These are people who normally are a ray of sunshine in my life. They deserve a big fat ray of sunshine in their lives right now. I'm praying for answers to their problems, and for their burdens to be lifted, but in the meantime, this song spoke to me today, because so many times in our life we struggle with what appears to be a mountain and in retrospect, it's only a grain of sand. I hope their mountains melt to sand soon. And that the sun shines into their world again soon.

overheard today...

always subject for blogging...the conversations between hannah and ryan.

Hannah: you can't marry Padme, Ryan she's already married to Anakin
(these are characters from Star Wars for those of you that are uninformed or not the parents of kids who watch these movies endlessly)

Ryan: Oh. OK. I marry Princess Leia.
(also Star Wars. Although if you don't know who she is, what exactly were you DOING in the late 70s early 80s anyway??)

Hannah: *sighing* No Ryan. She is in love with Han Solo.

Ryan: *pouts a moment* I just marry Hermione.
(Hermione Granger. Harry Potter.)

Hannah: You can't marry HER Ryan! She's not real!

At this point I am losing it down the hall, because seriously? How is Hermione is less real than Queen Padme Amidala? Or Princess Leia? At least Hermione is contemporary. Ryan has my blessing. It might be sort of cool to have a smart witch in the family. I didn't want to ruin the end of the 7th Harry Potter book for them and tell them why he couldn't technically marry her either :)

imperfect and loving it...

my mom and i were out shopping this weekend and we ran into a friend of hers. She is one of those people who can talk about herself and her perfect family endlessly. The sort who makes you want to punch yourself in the face 2 minutes into ANY conversation. Without boring you with the details, her children are perfect. P-E-R-F-E-C-T. They make excellent decisions, they pull perfect grades, they are beautiful, popular, etc.

I walked away feeling sorry for her kids and her husband. He is a really nice guy and I feel bad that he has to stand there and listen to her spout blah-bitty-blah-blah-blah every time they run into someone. She tells the same stories every time I see her, so I know he has to listen to them A LOT. I feel for her kids because they have to feel like they have to stand up to the perfect dream she has woven into their lives. How do you make a mistake in that house and live to tell? I know mistakes have to be made, they're just covered up and woven into some grand fairy tale making them seem like they weren't mistakes at all.

Lucky for my kids. The stories I tell are about them clogging my toilets, beating each other up, and basically acting like the normal, goober kids that they are. No high standards to live up to in this house :)

the pig lives to tell...

so apparently because milo spends 90% of his day munching hay, he can eat random stuff without getting plugged up. Which goes to show you, you need a little roughage in your diet. Maybe not Timothy hay, but a little romaine might go a long way if you ever happen to mistakenly eat a nerf dart. Just sayin'

We also now have our hands on a new gameboy DS. Thanks to the lovely Marsha for the lovely e bay links. We thought we had one ordered online only to find out 3 days later that it was backordered. There was much hate spewing about that day. But the lovely Marsha had taken time to dig up a few on e bay and we ended up buying one of those. The lovely e bayer who the lovely Marsha found, sent it so fast my head was spinning. Now I have a happy 7 yr old. And I can stop calling Target, Meijer, Best Buy, Circuit City, and Gamestop every day. Now I can get back to cleaning toilets.

Have a lovely weekend :) We have a whole lot of nada going on which is just what I need!

anyone? anyone??

what do you suppose a nerf dart will do to a guinea pig's intestines? Anyone?? Anyone?? I'll be finding out in the next day or two. Apparently nerf darts look and taste like carrots to guinea pigs. That is the only food I have seen Milo eat with that much speed. Nerf darts and carrots. Who knew? Anyone?

nintendo, why do you not ship enough product?

go into the stores. Just, go. Walk thee into any electronics section and have a looksie. What you'll find is xbox and playstation out the wazoo. What is missing? Nintendo products. I'm not looking for the Wii that everyone else was on the hunt for. No, I need a DS lite. Why now 2 weeks after Christmas can I NOT FIND A STINKIN' DS LITE? Why, Nintendo?? Why?? No one can answer that for me, and the geek at GameStop had the audacity to laugh in my face when I asked if they had any in stock. Then I shot him with the semi-automatic I keep in the minivan for just such an instance. You know, when a pimple-faced 19 yr old makes fun of my stupidity. He had it coming. Asshat. Really, I just thanked him politely for his complete lack of help and wished him luck getting a 'real job' someday.

The people at Nintendo have been on my personal shitlist since the first time Justin's gameboy broke and they charged an outrageous $75 to fix an game that only cost $120 to begin with. I thought that was the charge because he had broken the screen. Nope. This time something minor is broken and I find out that $75 is the STANDARD repair charge. So now they want me to pay a second $75 charge. Meaning, if I've done my math correctly, I've paid more for it to be repaired than I paid for it initially. How's that for a side dish of ironic? One of the things on Justin's wish list to Santa was "something to fix my broken DS" Awww...pull at mama's heartstrings. So we decided to just get a new one. Only it was a week before Christmas and we didn't have the spare budget to fork out the cash for it right then. Santa left Justin a new charger for his old Gameboy SP (his mysteriously has disappeared several times) and a note telling him he had taken the DS to the workshop to see if the elves could fix it and that he'd send it back in a week or 2 (coincidentally pay day time) and that hopefully he could charge up the old SP and that would keep him happy in the meantime.

So...fast forward to today. Payday!! I'm going to buzz over to Target and get a nice latte and a new DS. Only they're out of stock. So I take my delicious latte, hop back in the van and go next door to Meijer. Nope out of stock. Only a little deterred, I sip my latte on the way to WalMart. Again, denied. I then think to try GameStop. Which is when I got made fun of and began to think there maybe, just maybe, would be a little problem getting my hands on a DS today. Or any day soon. I came home and began making phone calls. People, they are sold out everywhere within a 30 mile radius of my house. WTF? This is not the "in" toy this year. Why can't I find one? I finally found a WalMart 30 min from my house that had a few in stock. They wouldn't hold one for me so I jumped right skippy into my van and drove (minus the latte this time). When I got there a different pimple faced boy told me they had just sold the last one. He was lucky that I had to park really far away and it was too cold to walk to the van to retrieve the semi automatic. I was a smidge on the angry side.

So, Nintendo. I must ask you...why do you make fun toys that everyone wants, but not enough of them? Why do you mock me with shelves full of pink DS and nary a black, red, or white one in sight? Why?? WHY??

true confessions...

it has been 4 months since my last official weigh in.
I haven't exercised regularly in almost that long.
I have gained ___ pounds. I can't say it outloud. Don't try twisting my arm. I won't say it.
I did 45 min on the the elliptical today and it about killed me.
But it didn't.
My ass is SO back on the wagon even though it's so big it barely fits up here.
Holidays are a bitch on my waistline.

buh-bye 2007...

is it just me or was 2007 the fastest year EVER?? I seriously do not believe that I have to write 2008 on stuff already. One of my family members said aloud yesterday to anyone who was listening (I think just me) "hopefully 2008 will be better because 2007 sucked". It gave me pause because my own personal 2007 wasn't all that bad. It was pretty good. I made some new friends. Settled into a new house that I love- leaky pipes and all. Got to spend more time with my family- psychotic behavior and all. Got to spend more time laughing with my oldest (not in years, just in time) and dearest friend than I have in years. Continued to laugh my ass off with my oldest (in years- sorry Carol) and bestest friend. Laughed at my husband (not that this is unusual, just seems like I laughed at and with him more often).

There was a little bad here and there thrown in, but if it was all good people would start questioning my vodka/tequila consumption.

When asked for my resolutions I snort. No, seriously. I literally snort. I don't DO resolutions. I suck at them. I want to get back on track with my weight loss but that has less to do with a new year than it does with the holidays being over and me being less likely to encounter trays of cookies at every destination. I guess if pushed I would say that I resolve to start running this year. I want to run the 5k that I usually walk in the Race For The Cure this summer. However I have been saying for 2 years now that I am going to do that, so is this THE year? I dunno. Maybe. No really, trust me. I suck at resolutions. I could resolve to say NO more often, but puh-lease. Who would I be if not everyone's 'yes girl'? It is not a resolution I can even say with a straight face. So I guess I resolve to make no resolutions and just try to keep laughing at myself and those who I love and hold dear. Sounds good for 2008. Cheers!

sick and twisted are we...

so there is a lot that my mom, sister, and i don't see eye to eye on. I **think** I may have mentioned something about it in my last post. HOWEVER, we are each as sick and twisted as the other. We went on a girly date yesterday and took my grandma to a movie. She loves Johnny Depp (yes, my grandma has a 'thing' for Johnny Depp. He's even hot to the grandma set) so of course we chose Sweeney Todd. I gave them all a heads up on the story line, because if you aren't prepared for it, gory doesn't begin to describe the plot. My grandma is who made me the horror movie lovin' girl I am today and hello?? Johnny Depp?? So, I wasn't at all worried about her. I was a little worried about my mom. She's not a big fan of gore. I shouldn't have been concerned. Her inappropriate sense of humor outweighed her gross-out level. We were knee slapping the whole way through the movie and cackling like hens. The teeny-boppers in front of us were HORRIFIED at what was happening on screen. We thought it was hysterical. So I guess we do have something in common. Cannibalism can be funny. To us. And Tim Burton.

christmas mission statement...

so this was THE YEAR for our family. The year where you decide the stress of trying to have a fun family-lovin' get together is neither fun nor family lovin'. This is the year that all of my "issues" came to a head and I have officially hit my personal limit. My family can continue going down the path they have chosen. Without me. I will, from now on, not participate in opening gifts around my siblings. I will stay home and enjoy my family, my kids, my husband. These are the things that bring me joy. Watching my siblings open the gifts my parents lavish them with is like pouring salt in all of my open wounds. I can't much talk about it without sounding like an ungrateful brat. My parents buy me nice things too, don't get me wrong. I appreciate all they do for me. Just in comparison...well there is no comparison. I apologize to everyone who has had to listen to me rant this week. It has been an ugly week for me. Now I have come to understand that I have to take control of my own life, my own family and not let anyone else spoil what should be a fun holiday.
I love my parents and sibs to pieces. I know that we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. I think that's pretty normal. I just have to let a lot of stuff go. Stuff that has been clouding my vision of who I am for too many years now. How I am going to do it is a mystery to me, but I gotta do it.
There...wasn't that fun? I sort of feel like Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire. I'll just bag up my fish and go now.