irrational...

when hannah was small (er) we marveled at how fearless she was. Justin was the total opposite. He would try things slowly. I never had to worry about him jumping or climbing on things that were too high, he was my little chicken man. Hannah was a different breed. She climbed to the tallest rocks and jumped off. She was always hanging like a monkey off of furniture. She'd try anything once. Sometime in the last month she switched a gear and I can't un-switch it. I noticed it the first time in her gymnastics class. They wanted her to hang from a bar and she flat out refused. Bizarre. Then she was swinging from the rings on our swingset and I tried to show her how to let go upside down. She went apeshit, screaming no at me. My sister and I shared a puzzled look. Any other time she'd have been begging me to show her. It has gotten progressively worse. Now it's about water. She won't go in the pool. We started swimming lessons this week and Mon. it was a joke. Tues was a little better. We missed Wed. because of dentist appts and today she was back to clinging to the side of the pool and refusing to FLOAT ON HER BACK WITH THE INSTRUCTORS HELP. That's right. In 3'6" of water she is afraid to attempt a float with someone holding onto her. This is my fearless-wonder child. Even at the dentist yesterday she said she was afraid. She's been before and actually enjoyed it, so I don't get it. She got a haircut today. Before we walked in she whispered to me, "mom...what if it hurts?" WHAT!!??!! I'm trying to be patient but it's infuriating to me. She is acting like a complete chicken over everything and it's just not normal for her. Plus...no one else can have fun at the pool because she is terrified. Clinging to the edge of the pool. In 3'6" of water. That she can TOTALLY stand up in. I'm sure it's a phase. At least that's what everyone keeps saying, but God help me if she doesn't work through it quick like I'm going to lose my rocks. I found my self screaming at her this morning to get it together. At the top of my voice I'm screeching at her "you will go to swimming lessons, because it's fun and you will eventually enjoy it!" Yeah mom, that's helpful. I wanted to eat my words or at least the tone in which I screamed them at her as soon as they left my mouth. I hate that I yelled at her and I hate that I lost my patience. It just seems like very piece of our life now is covered by "but what if it's scary?" I have no answers. Sometimes life is scary. Hell, I'm scared to open my mailbox and look at the ever mounting stack of bills every day. This swimming thing just baffles me. She's had lessons before. We didn't do much swimming last summer because of the chaos that was our life in the summer of '06, but should that have turned her into a total chicken?
Any words of wisdom on chicken children and working through this not-so-fun phase of childhood would be greatly appreciated.

fun was had by all...

we had a blast. We knew we would. Our friends always take glorious care of us. Although... even just an evening in the backyard with the kids playing and all of us eating, chatting, drinking... really it couldn't be any better than that. Oh and IKEA. I sing the praises of Ikea once again. Where else can you buy an end table that is living room worthy (in our home anyways!!) for $12.99. No, seriously. It was $12.99. I remember going there the first time with Janet and being absolutely floored by the cheap-ness of it all. I bought end tables then and thought to myself "self... for under $15 even if these tables only last for one year it was worth it." I am now replacing that same table with one in a different color. 5 years later. I'd say we got our full $12.99 out of them. And really? It's wonderful because I don't have to be one of those people who twitch if you don't put a coaster under your drink.
So we're back 'down south' again. We miss our Northern friends, but not our old neighborhood. We drove past the old house and the new owners don't seem to be giving it much love. It isn't horrifying, just sad. We saw our old neighbors. Our kids loved them, we did not. They haven't changed a bit. The kids were happy to see them so that was nice. We just drove away shaking our heads and being thankful to be out of the neighborhood. The house across the street is still for sale. Has been for 2 years now. We were lucky to escape when we did. It was a nice awakening though. With all the quirks that our new neighborhood and set of neighbors has to offer, we are MUCH happier in our new surroundings. If it wasn't such a long drive to visit friends, it would be perfection. Though still, even though we have been separated by so many miles and months, we fell back into laughing, chatting, whining about our kids and husbands, etc...just like the old days. It was a good weekend indeed.

headed north...

we are off to visit michigan this weekend. Since my beloved trip to Canada had to be sidelined this year, we had a blank weekend on the calendar. No such thing as a 'do-nothing' weekend in this family so we decided to fill our blank weekend with a trip to visit Michigan buddies. To say the kids are psyched is an extreme understatement. I don't think anyone will ever replace their Michigan friends in their heads. They have friends here now, but they still look at the pictures of their Michigan buddies with longing and talk about them constantly. Hannah still has a bulletin board in her room full of pictures of herself, Dana, & Kaitlyn. And who am I kidding? I miss them all too! Matt had to be prodded into the trip, because he (unlike myself) is all about an empty space on the calendar. Don't get me wrong, I love me some unscheduled time, but this weekend was just perfect for an escape. I figured the best way to spend it doing whatever we wanted, was to go somewhere else and GET AWAY. Now that's it's all planned and set up, Matt is really psyched about it too. We always have a blast when we all get together and our kids play incredibly well together.
So, now I have to spend today getting everything set up here at home. Making feeding instructions for the pets and getting their cages/tanks/litterbox/whatever else cleaned so the my sister doesn't have to deal with anything icky. Plus getting laundry together, packing, and getting all the kids stuff together. The list is never-ending, but I'm just so excited to go!! I don't even care!! Plus...there is the possibility of a trip to IKEA!! Did I mention IKEA??!!
So we're off for the weekend. Hope the weekend is wonderful in your spot too!

the grind...

as a mom who stays home, like has no job, is "just a mom", occasionally i get in a funk. One of those those I-never-get-to-do-anything-for-myself-my-sole-purpose-is-to-serve-others kind of funks. It doesn't help that with my right foot being down, I haven't driven in 2 1/2 weeks (until Monday when I was forced to because I had to drive to the Dr to get a shot in my ass because I had poison ivy, but I digress) It still is painful to drive because having my foot at the angle that one needs to push the gas pedal, is just not comfy yet. But tolerable. Anyhow... yesterday I was supposed to get my haircut. I am so looking forward to this for many reasons. Most of them because my hair looks like crap right now, but also? I wanted some "me time". Selfish? Probably. But I've only been out of the house ALONE (meaning without a child attached to me) to go to weight watchers in the past 2 1/2 wks. and I really wanted to be ALONE for say, an hour. The appt. was at 7, so I just had to have a husband in place to take over my job by 6:30. And 6:30 was pushing it so I asked if he could shoot for 6:20 to give me plenty of time. No problem he says. Then he shows up at 6:40 sputtering excuses about traffic. I'm sure it was traffic involved, but being that there was no WAY I could make it there in 20 min, I had to cancel my appt. And I was not a happy mama. In fact I didn't speak (nicely) to him for the rest of the evening. Selfish? Probably. But damn. I just wanted a haircut. Now it's going to be another week or so before I can do it again. The only other thing she had in the evening this week was a 6:30 appt and let's face it, if he couldn't get home in time for a 7:00 appt odds aren't good that I'll make it there a 1/2 hr earlier.
And so...last night I was evil. And angry. And feeling like my whole purpose on this earth is to serve others and does anyone care about me?? So the children and husband steered clear of me and the black cloud hanging over my head. I went to bed early and feel marginally better about my lot in life today. I do love my "just a mom" position. I just wish I had a provision in my contract for personal time. Personal time that didn't always have to involve Dr appts. I'd like personal time that involved me ALONE for say... 1 hour. And a professional with a pair of scissors that can make me look like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama. I know I'm asking a lot.

bring it on...

so we're off with a bang. Never a dull moment 'round these parts. We spent the weekend tearing out bushes, because I am not a big evergreen bush fan. Can't say why, but I just am not a fan. So now they're gone and I have a big empty flower bed to plan. Most of it won't get done until the fall now when I can split hostas and daylilies, so I have time to look at stuff and plan. While we were tearing out bushes we came across a vine that was growing up and through 2 of the bushes. I saw it a month ago and tore some of it out. This weekend I tore the rest of it out. All the men, who were helping tear out the bushes, jumped away as if it were a deadly snake. It was just a vine. Of poison ivy. The shit doesn't scare me. **I** am not allergic to it. I tried to get out of staying at a heinous camp one summer by rolling in it to no avail. I just got really dirty, not a blister at all. I have torn it out of places my whole life, never a blister. As I mentioned earlier, I took some of it out just a month ago. Again, no blister. Because **I** am not allergic to it. Except...now apparently I am. I look like Will Smith from the movie Hitch. It isn't anywhere on me except my face. My eye is swollen, my upper lip looks like I got Angelina Jolie lip injections. Just my upper lip mind you, not the lower one. Oh Yeah. It's sexy. I went to the Dr. this afternoon and was informed it is also in my ears and throat. But...I'm not allergic!!! Why did this happen? It's this little thing called "your 30s". Never had acne? Now you do! Like a teenager! Never had allergies? Now you do! You lucky bitch! Along with these fun things you also get raging hormones that are out of control. Suh-weet! I just can't wait for peri-menopause in my 40s!!!
And so to recap the summer so far...
-sprained ligaments in the foot
-poison ivy all over the face requiring a cortisone injection

what next???

On the bright side all the kids are playing well with all the other neighboring kids and everyone seems content with the summer so far. No one has gotten too booooooooored yet.

ho hum....

really...there is so little going on i don't have much to blog about. I got poked and prodded for a fun update, but there is nothing fun here. I hurt my foot a week and 1/2 ago. Fun! It's in one of those menacing looking black boots now and everyone gasps at it and asks me what I did. Then they wait. Expecting some really cool thing I was doing when I hurt it. Well...I was walking. And then my ankle gave out and I wasn't walking anymore. There was lots of popping, cracking, tearing, etc. Now I can't walk on it. The end. Then they say, "Seriously? You were just walking?" So I ask, am I the only one who has that freak, ankle-not-working-suddenly- and-turning-underneath-me-thing? Because it happens to me all the time, but maybe I am alone. Maybe I have weak ankles? Maybe I'm just a klutz? Either way, it was a boring accident, just me being klutzy. Now I just have to wait until I can put weight on it again without screaming in agony. Because, really? I don't have time for crutches.
So there's my glowing update. Wasn't it fun?