independence...

each of my children has gone through this stage. With Justin I was still a control freak (well more of one anyway) and I had a hard time letting him do things "by mineself". I knew it would cause a huge mess. With Hannah I loosened grip a little because she would throw a huge fit and scream unless I let her do it. Whatever. Now, that Ry is shifting into the stage I just let go of the reigns. Because, frankly? I'm tired. Does he make a mess? But of course. It's his job. So far this morning he has wanted 2,3,4 more waffles. He counts like that every time he wants more. "I want 2, 3, 4 more mama!" And it's so cute! He wants to get the waffles out of the freezer but as he's trying to get them out they crumble. Mess #1. Then he wants to put them in the toaster. He brings what is leftover to the garbage and spills 1/2 of it on the floor. Waffle pieces and syrup = mess #2. Then he brings his cup of chocolate milk to the sink. And misses. Mess # 3. But instead of freaking out, I'm just happy that he's trying to bring his dishes to the sink without being reminded 12 times like his older sibs.
Of course during the day I hear nothing but "No! **I** do it!". Well, that and the strains of the different Star Wars songs that he hums ALL DAY LONG. But all I can think about is how he has gone from baby to kid-like in a matter of a few weeks. Like putting on a pair of undies has suddenly changed his attitude. He doesn't want his Spiderman fork anymore. He wants the "big fork". I guess this means I can soon clean out the section of our silverware drawer that has housed our kid-sized forks and spoons for 7 yrs now.
It's good and bad. He's the last one to enter into the independence phase. The last one.

a new game of TAG....

janet tagged me for one i've never seen before! How exciting :)

You have to use your first initial for every category, and you can't use your own name for the boy/girl name. Got it? GO!

SCATTERGORIES...it's harder than it looks!
Your Name: Amy
1. Famous Singer/Band: ABBA
2. 4 letter word: aqua
3. Color: apricot
4. Street: Asbury
5. Gifts/Presents: airplane ticket (not a gift I get often enough!)
6. Vehicle: Avalanche
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: art (crap art usually, but art)
8. Boy Name: Alan
9. Girl Name: Alicia
10. Movie Title: All Dogs Go To Heaven
11. Drink: Adirondack margarita
12. Occupation: Architect
13. Flower: Amaryllis
14. Celebrity: Angelina Jolie
15. Magazine: All about Beer (just saw it on Tues and was amazed that such a magazine existed!)
16. U.S. City: Amarillo
17. Pro Sports Teams: Anaheim Angels (don't I get double points for this?)
18. Fruit: Apple
19. Reason for Being Late for Work: Alarm clock didn't go off
20. Something You Throw Away: ads (from the newspaper? I'm reaching)
21. Things You Shout: Asshole!!
22. Cartoon Character: Ariel (Little Mermaid- does that count???)

That was HARD!!! I don't know how people did stuff like this before Google existed.

I'm tagging Jen (who can't use Janet's blog answers!!) and Elle who hasn't updated her blog since it was snowing. GO!

control freak...

a list of things i wish i had some control over....

- weather - rain in particular right now

- my daughter's room

- my youngest son's clothing choice

- my oldest son's tonsils

- laundry

- my neighbors. they think they are still in high school and it is irritating

- the money tree in the backyard

- the price of airfare

- the price of fuel

- the price of tea in China (not really but it sounded good right there)

- my brother's college choice

- the amount of fat & calories in my favorite foods

I could go on forever. I think I have control issues today.

there's never enough...

it's a bad attitude to live with. I'm slowly trying to change, but it's hard. Matt and I wasted 1/2 hour of our lives last night talking about what kind of hardwood floors we want and where we want to go with it. It's laughable and a total waste of time because unless the damn money tree starts blooming soon (I think the Spring frost killed the damn thing AGAIN) it'll be years before we can put hardwood anywhere. And, I think, I'm OK with it. There will always be things we want to do to the house. Vacations we want to go on. Things we want to buy. Because what we have is never enough. Except? It is right now. I am content in life. I have the house I have always wanted to have. I have a husband who makes me laugh and who laughs at me. I have kids who other people think are cute & actually want to have over to visit (they don't know the REAL Hannah). All that AND a front loading washer and dryer!!
Would I love to be vacationing on the beach with my toes in the sand this summer? Hell yes! Will I be happy with vacationing at my sister in law's lake house? Indeed! It'll be fun and ridiculously cheap.
It's all about attitude. I can spend my days thinking about everything I want or reveling in all I have. Because...seriously? I am a lucky, lucky girl. I'm going to revel in what I have and be thankful for my blessings. After that, I'm going to fold laundry :)

new people...

a house sold on our street about 6 doors down from us. It is my sincere hope that they have a boy about Ryan's age and that they are normal and fun people. Is that too much to ask? I feel sort of bad for Ry. He had built in buddies in Michigan. He often sits and looks at our photo album (not yet scrapbooked- like I have time for that!) and points at Wooke (Luke) and Josh. He remembers them and can't figure out why after seeing them many times during the week before, now we got months without getting to play with them. Everyone else got new friends their age when we moved onto this street. Sadly, there is no one Ry's age. He really needs a friend. I know next fall, when he starts preschool, he'll find one. There is still a loooong summer stretching out before us until then, so if it wouldn't be too much to ask I'd love for the new neighbors to have a 3-ish year old boy. I'm sort of stalking the house in hopes of seeing things going from the truck and into the house that scream toddler boy, but so far no dice. I'm not losing hope yet.
Maybe if I hope hard enough I can make it happen.

the many faces of my gut...

i have mommy gut. In more ways than the obvious one. It used to be a fat gut. Now it is less fat but is more like a blob of wrinkly skin. Go ahead. Click the x and move on now if you are gagging over the thought of my blobby, wrinkly, mommy gut. I forgive you. It grosses me smack out too. But, I figure gross, blobby, & wrinkly is better than what it used to be which is full-o-fat.
What else is mommy gut? It's that instinct that you get the moment a child emerges from said gut. When you just know something isn't right. Woman's intuition ain't got nothin' on mommy gut. My gut has screamed at me the last 2 times I have been at the pediatrician's office and a few times before that it was speaking loudly. I ignored it before, today I am not. I am divorcing my pediatrician. It's a scary thought for me. I don't know why. It isn't like a have a long-standing relationship with her, but it's still hard to pack up, grab your medical records, and move on. She is somewhat of a flake and I have been forgiving for a long time, because flaky doesn't necessarily equal a crap doctor. Today she crossed the line between flake and flat out ignorant and even crossed the lazy doctor threshold a little. Ignorant and lazy is a no-can-do for me. Not where the chiclets are concerned. I drove home listening to my gut scream obscenities about going to the gym and doing some crunches already, but not before you switch pediatricians, you ignorant woman! Gotta listen when the gut starts in with the obscenities.
I should have listened 2 visits ago, when it rose from a dull roar to a scream. Next time, I'll know. Listen to the mommy gut already! It isn't pretty, but it's smart. Isn't that the way of the world?

seven days...

so, the day after his birthday, Ryan decided it was "time". He picked out a pair of Star Wars underwear without being prompted. I picked my jaw up off of the ground and went with it. Mine is not to question. It has now officially been 7 whole days since I changed a diaper. Can you feel the glee?? It's been more then 7 years since I could say that I haven't changed a diaper in a week- except while on vacation. In my real, every day world this is new and a source of utter joy. He has had very few accidents- maybe 3 or 4 over the week. And the best thing???? The poop was never an issue. My other 2 were totally freaked over the concept of #2 in the potty. Ryan, on the other hand, takes pride in the size of it. He doesn't just poop, he poops big! Men! I do distinctly remember Justin coming to me and making me look at the "snake" he made in the potty once. Aren't boys fun?
So, in our household we are making grocery lists that don't include Pampers. And we are skipping about it! I don't have to be a slave to the diaper bag anymore!!!
OH- and you're welcome for this daily dose of poop talk :)

my cup runneth over...

i have entirely too much shit to do. I have a serious problem saying no and it is getting me in trouble. Not so much in trouble, but it is causing me stress, angst, panic. All those fun things that make me lose my temper faster and feel like an ass for yelling at my kids for no good reason. I am in snap mode today. I hate that feeling.
Now, on top of all the fun & crafty projects I have been delegated recently, I have to figure out how to NOT help my son and husband bake a fun cake for Tiger Scouts next week. It has to be done on Fri evening. Thurs nights are packed with stuff already so when does it get baked? Decorated? No one knows when it will happen. But I am NOT ALLOWED to help. It's a father/son project. What it really is, is a project to make me twitch because it's NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. Matt's going to take care of it. M-kay. Just not sure how or when it's going to get done, but again, not my problem. I just have to clean the mess up.
Did I mention I'm stressed? Or that I am ready to snap?
Anyone else have any crafty projects that only I am capable of doing? Bring em' on!!! I have nothing better to do!!

thoughts on my baby turning 3...

it's funny to me that I still think of him as 'my baby'. I wonder if this will still be true when he is 17 and hairy. I think back to potty training Justin at this exact same age and in my head, Ryan just seems so much younger. Except that he isn't. Weird. He is less of a baby every day. He's always been an opinionated little dude. Now he just lets you know that it's his way or the highway. No exceptions. He won't be as easy to potty train as Justin and Hannah were. They just accepted it to be fact that it was "time" and there were "no more diapers". Ryan says to me, "not yet" and "go buy more diapers, you cheap bastard" OK. He didn't actually call me a cheap bastard but it was implied in his tone. I think he knows I'm tired of purchasing Pampers. I'm certain he knows I'm tired of changing his poopy diapers, but it's my concern not his. And why should he want to take over wiping his own butt when it is clearly not an enjoyable task for me? Makes sense when you think of it from his perspective. He's obviously extremely intelligent.

Happy Birthday to my little dude. Thanks for being just who you are. You make me smile and cringe every day and I wouldn't want it any other way!

dear mother nature...

normally, i am not one to bitch about the weather. HA!! I can't even say that with a straight face. I bitch ENDLESSLY about the weather. However, Mother Nature, I feel that since you too are a mother you should see that what you have done here is just wrong on so many levels. My children just endured a week of spring break where there was only a glimpse of spring. You tease us into wearing shorts and bearing legs that are so pale white they may be deemed "clear", then you blast us with winter again. Why? Why do you do this to us? Is it some deal you have with the winter dudes that you have to get so many inches in before it's over? If that's the case, can you see to it that next year it is a lower number of inches? Or, is it that you think we'll miss the snow? Because seriously? That's going to be a no for me. Even living in Arizona didn't make me miss snow. I certainly won't miss it for the few short months that it goes away here in Ohio.
You gave me trees full of blossoms on Mon. that were dead on Wed. Why???? Don't you want it to be pretty? I don't CARE that it makes me husband sneeze. It's so pretty!
In short, Mother Nature, my children will hunt for Easter eggs tomorrow in their winter coats. Enough is enough. Let us have spring before I start feeling the need to get ugly on you. Ask Matt, you don't want me to get ugly.

to anyone worried about justin's well-being...

he is alive and well and currently playing mario kart on his nintendo....

'give me a minute' literally means 60 seconds to a 7 yr old...

i need to remind myself from time to time how literal Justin can be. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it makes me want to send him to live with distant relatives. Today he wanted me to look in a bag in the top of his closet for the charger for his gameboy. I didn't want to climb to the top of his closet so I told him to make sure it wasn't plugged into the wall next to his bed where it always is. 3-5 seconds later he returned and said it wasn't plugged into the wall, and could I look in his closet please? *BIG SIGH* "I'm in the middle of something, give me a minute." I kid you not, my little sweet red head waited 64 seconds before saying to me, "mom it's been one minute and 4 seconds and you haven't done it yet." Then I killed him and buried him in the backyard. Luckily the ground was still soft from the rain.
No really, I didn't. And if I did do you think I would post it on the internet?? Geez people! But I did throw some things and rant my way up the stairs to his closet. I jerked the bag that he wanted down off the shelf and as I was turning to rant some more about having patience and blah, blah, blah, what did I spy? Oh, yes, you guessed it! His charger. Plugged into the wall next to his bed where I told him to look for it a mere 2.3 minutes earlier. OOOPS was his response. Then I killed him and buried him in the backyard.
I'm going to go warm up with some afternoon coffee and Bailey's now.