sick and twisted are we...

so there is a lot that my mom, sister, and i don't see eye to eye on. I **think** I may have mentioned something about it in my last post. HOWEVER, we are each as sick and twisted as the other. We went on a girly date yesterday and took my grandma to a movie. She loves Johnny Depp (yes, my grandma has a 'thing' for Johnny Depp. He's even hot to the grandma set) so of course we chose Sweeney Todd. I gave them all a heads up on the story line, because if you aren't prepared for it, gory doesn't begin to describe the plot. My grandma is who made me the horror movie lovin' girl I am today and hello?? Johnny Depp?? So, I wasn't at all worried about her. I was a little worried about my mom. She's not a big fan of gore. I shouldn't have been concerned. Her inappropriate sense of humor outweighed her gross-out level. We were knee slapping the whole way through the movie and cackling like hens. The teeny-boppers in front of us were HORRIFIED at what was happening on screen. We thought it was hysterical. So I guess we do have something in common. Cannibalism can be funny. To us. And Tim Burton.

christmas mission statement...

so this was THE YEAR for our family. The year where you decide the stress of trying to have a fun family-lovin' get together is neither fun nor family lovin'. This is the year that all of my "issues" came to a head and I have officially hit my personal limit. My family can continue going down the path they have chosen. Without me. I will, from now on, not participate in opening gifts around my siblings. I will stay home and enjoy my family, my kids, my husband. These are the things that bring me joy. Watching my siblings open the gifts my parents lavish them with is like pouring salt in all of my open wounds. I can't much talk about it without sounding like an ungrateful brat. My parents buy me nice things too, don't get me wrong. I appreciate all they do for me. Just in comparison...well there is no comparison. I apologize to everyone who has had to listen to me rant this week. It has been an ugly week for me. Now I have come to understand that I have to take control of my own life, my own family and not let anyone else spoil what should be a fun holiday.
I love my parents and sibs to pieces. I know that we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. I think that's pretty normal. I just have to let a lot of stuff go. Stuff that has been clouding my vision of who I am for too many years now. How I am going to do it is a mystery to me, but I gotta do it.
There...wasn't that fun? I sort of feel like Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire. I'll just bag up my fish and go now.

your holiday laugh...

because everyone is maxed-out, tired, stressed, cranky, and more. You need to laugh today. NEED it. Trust me. I'm offering to you the one thing that makes me laugh like a loon no matter how many times I see it. If Pete Schweddy and his balls don't make you laugh, there is something wrong with you. Go to the doctor today. No seriously. Go.

do you hear them calling???

so we spent most of saturday watching the snow fall and baking cookies and other christmas goodies. Now I have all of my teachers goodies done and the frames to go with them. This is FABULOUS! What is NOT fabulous? The fact that I have lots and lots of extra goodies. Chocolate covered pretzels and all of my favorite Christmas cookies called out to me all day yesterday. Since I am not one to ignore the pleas of a good cookie...well... I ate a lot of cookies yesterday. It's scary what a chocolate covered pretzel does to my will power. It obliterates it. Leaving nothing but a whisper of a memory of a will power.
But damn...cover a pretzel in chocolate and drizzle it with toffee chips. A word of warning: it might just become your new best friend. Consider yourself warned :)

send me the therapy bills...

i remember many years ago, reading a book that had a chapter in it that pissed me right off. It was a parenting book and they have a tendency to piss me right off in sections, because they spout "the best way" to parent and I just don't think there is a best way. Anyway...this particular chapter was on the the PROPER age spacing between children. I was pregnant at the time with Miss H and Justin was a wee infant. The chapter talked about how unfair it was to have children less than 2 years spaced because the older child misses out on so much one on one time with his/her parents. In my brain at the time I was all "WTF!!" I mean, the 2nd and subsequent kids never experience true one on one time, so does that mean they're never going to be truly happy either? And also...I feared I had destroyed Justin's chance at happiness because "whoops... we got pregnant this time a little earlier than we planned" it took us forever to conceive Justin so when we got pregnant after a mere longing glance at each other from across the room (it may have been a little more than that, but not much) it was a bit of a shock. The accident that is now my one and only girl child, put our 1st two children at a little more than an 18 month apart spacing. So you can understand my WTF response to the notion that I was destroying my son's happiness by giving him a sibling 6 mo earlier than the experts suggest. I was already putting money aside for his therapy later. OK..not really... but I wanted to. Fast forward 6 or so years. Yesterday while the older 2 were at school and I had Ry at home with me, we were snuggling on the couch watching a movie. As I lay there content with him in my arms it occurred to me that I never got to do that with the other 2. I always had a younger child underfoot. There has never been a time until now that I could have spur of the moment, unscheduled, one on one time with one of my kids- well not since Justin was 18 mo old. I don't really think it has caused them to be mentally unbalanced. Well...maybe a little, but no more than the average mentally unbalanced child. It just made me realize that I need to carve out time for each of them on their own. And be thankful for the 30 min or so that I can sometimes get Ry to stop being a whirlwind and just sit under a blanket with me and watch part of a movie.

bitter is the soup of the day...

i hate my spot as the oldest, responsible child in my family. No really. I. HATE. it. My family is going (for the second year in a row) to the National Championship football game this Jan. 7 to watch the Buckeyes play. My whole family. Oh. Except... not me. Because really, who would stay and take care of the dogs? Actually my sister is also not going, but only because she has to be back to Boston for classes before it's over. Otherwise FOR SURE she'd have gotten a ticket. But I'm not bitter. No, seriously.

the curse of the cosmo...

so matt's company christmas party was last night. And they decided to do an open bar this year. I was all "Wheeeeee!! Belly up to the bar!! Order me something delicious!" So was Matt's co-worker's wife. Quite a pair we were. Then later I lost her. Only to find out later she was very sick. Not to be deterred by her inability to hold liquor, I was all "Wheee!! I'll have another Cosmo!!" Only it was my 4th Cosmo. And they were mixing them suckers strong. Needless to say there are whole pieces of last night that are missing from my memory. Matt promises I never made a fool out of myself. He won't promise that he didn't take advantage of my weakened condition. Bastard. What I learned from this experience?

1. Just because top shelf alcohol is being offered free of charge, you don't have to drink it. All.
2. A Cosmo is really nothing more than a giant vodka with a splash of cranberry juice.
3. 4 Cosmos? Not a good idea.
4. The porcelain gods are still not good to me.
5. I don't know how I survived college.

Because....I didn't crawl out of bed until 11 am today. Well unless you count the 5 times I ran to puke my guts out. I will NEVER touch a Cosmo again and just the thought of cranberry juice makes me queasy today.
But P.S... I looked really cute last night. I think. I don't really remember much.

this makes me want a do-over on our 1st dance...

maybe for our 25th anniversary we can renew our vows???

how could you???

i am in hair misery right now. My hair is well... miserable. I have neglected it for entirely too long. I hate that I do that to my hair. It just happens. It grows out into a ponytail and without realizing it I become "ponytail girl" who never does anything resembling style. Unless you still think scrunchies are the rage. I do not.
I am just at the trust point with my new hair dude (this is my first hair 'dude' and I ADORE him) where I was going to go in and say to him "Drew, if you could do anything you wanted to with my head, what would it be?" and then I was going to LET HIM DO IT. I called to schedule an appointment this week before Matt's company Christmas party and **GASP** Drew is no longer with us. WHAT??!!?? Where has he gone? Why didn't he call me? How could he? Apparently he wasn't allowed to call me and tell me. I am in mourning over this. I now have to turn my head over to a complete stranger the day before the party and hope I don't come away looking like Dudley Moore. Or go to the party with a festive scrunchie. Neither is an alternative that makes me happy.