that's not MY dog...

ryan was the star of the week at preschool last week. This is a BIG DEAL in the world of a 3 yr old. It was sort of a pain in the ass for me because he had to do this "all about me" poster. And because he is 3, it was not so much HIS homework as it was MINE. The hardest part was the oval in which he was supposed to put a picture of his 'pet'. Because, you know, normal people have 1 or 2 animals and we have like, 47 or something. OK...not 47...but we have several critters. We decided to leave off pictures of the fish (it is technically Justin's) and the pig (it is technically Hannah's) so in the oval we had to fit pictures of the 3 dogs and the cat. Not only do we not own 1 picture of all 4 together, our 2 oldest dogs haven't been photographed well for approximately 8 years. So I found so puppy-ish pictures of Shasta and Baxter and trimmed them up and fit them in the oval with Stanley & Pickles (don't ask) (Ryan named Pickles- because Pickles is the perfect name for a cat. Of course.) (like I said, don't ask)

ANYWAY... yesterday it was someone else's turn to take over star of the week position so Ry's teacher handed me back his poster. She stopped me as I turned to leave and said "Are those really your dogs?" I did a double (perhaps triple) take and said "uhhh, yes?? Why do you ask?" She said that Ryan had a chance to talk about all of the stuff on the poster and when she pointed to Shasta and Baxter he had not one clue who they were. I looked at my son like he was an alien and said, "Ryan...you know who these dogs are! Who is this?"(pointing to Shasta) He then looked at me like I was an alien- can't you just feel the love in our family- and said "I don't KNOW mom!" I told him he was silly because of course it was Shasta! He again rolled his eyes at his alien of a mother and said "No mom, Shasta has a white beard. This dog has a black one. You picked the wrong dog."

How to explain the aging dog to a 3 yr old? Poor Shasta and Baxter are apparently unrecognizable in their younger years to their own chiclets. I admit Baxter doesn't look a BIT like he did 8 yrs ago, but Shasta...I didn't think she had changed much. I guess she has.

In the end we all got a good laugh about the fact that it was the first time this year that a kid didn't recognize a pet on his own poster. Ryan gets to keep his one of a kind status :)

In her defense, Shasta has earned every single white in her 'beard'. She has the patience of a saint-dog. And 3 chiclets that make her earn her white the honest way.

just a grain of sand...

sometimes certain songs speak to me. I can hear it a hundred times or more and then one day I'll hear it for the 101st time and BLAM it suddenly means something to me. Today Carrie Underwood wins the prize.
I have some people in my life who are dealing with various struggles. Some bad, some worse, all of them stressful and weighing them down. These are people who normally are a ray of sunshine in my life. They deserve a big fat ray of sunshine in their lives right now. I'm praying for answers to their problems, and for their burdens to be lifted, but in the meantime, this song spoke to me today, because so many times in our life we struggle with what appears to be a mountain and in retrospect, it's only a grain of sand. I hope their mountains melt to sand soon. And that the sun shines into their world again soon.

overheard today...

always subject for blogging...the conversations between hannah and ryan.

Hannah: you can't marry Padme, Ryan she's already married to Anakin
(these are characters from Star Wars for those of you that are uninformed or not the parents of kids who watch these movies endlessly)

Ryan: Oh. OK. I marry Princess Leia.
(also Star Wars. Although if you don't know who she is, what exactly were you DOING in the late 70s early 80s anyway??)

Hannah: *sighing* No Ryan. She is in love with Han Solo.

Ryan: *pouts a moment* I just marry Hermione.
(Hermione Granger. Harry Potter.)

Hannah: You can't marry HER Ryan! She's not real!

At this point I am losing it down the hall, because seriously? How is Hermione is less real than Queen Padme Amidala? Or Princess Leia? At least Hermione is contemporary. Ryan has my blessing. It might be sort of cool to have a smart witch in the family. I didn't want to ruin the end of the 7th Harry Potter book for them and tell them why he couldn't technically marry her either :)

imperfect and loving it...

my mom and i were out shopping this weekend and we ran into a friend of hers. She is one of those people who can talk about herself and her perfect family endlessly. The sort who makes you want to punch yourself in the face 2 minutes into ANY conversation. Without boring you with the details, her children are perfect. P-E-R-F-E-C-T. They make excellent decisions, they pull perfect grades, they are beautiful, popular, etc.

I walked away feeling sorry for her kids and her husband. He is a really nice guy and I feel bad that he has to stand there and listen to her spout blah-bitty-blah-blah-blah every time they run into someone. She tells the same stories every time I see her, so I know he has to listen to them A LOT. I feel for her kids because they have to feel like they have to stand up to the perfect dream she has woven into their lives. How do you make a mistake in that house and live to tell? I know mistakes have to be made, they're just covered up and woven into some grand fairy tale making them seem like they weren't mistakes at all.

Lucky for my kids. The stories I tell are about them clogging my toilets, beating each other up, and basically acting like the normal, goober kids that they are. No high standards to live up to in this house :)

the pig lives to tell...

so apparently because milo spends 90% of his day munching hay, he can eat random stuff without getting plugged up. Which goes to show you, you need a little roughage in your diet. Maybe not Timothy hay, but a little romaine might go a long way if you ever happen to mistakenly eat a nerf dart. Just sayin'

We also now have our hands on a new gameboy DS. Thanks to the lovely Marsha for the lovely e bay links. We thought we had one ordered online only to find out 3 days later that it was backordered. There was much hate spewing about that day. But the lovely Marsha had taken time to dig up a few on e bay and we ended up buying one of those. The lovely e bayer who the lovely Marsha found, sent it so fast my head was spinning. Now I have a happy 7 yr old. And I can stop calling Target, Meijer, Best Buy, Circuit City, and Gamestop every day. Now I can get back to cleaning toilets.

Have a lovely weekend :) We have a whole lot of nada going on which is just what I need!

anyone? anyone??

what do you suppose a nerf dart will do to a guinea pig's intestines? Anyone?? Anyone?? I'll be finding out in the next day or two. Apparently nerf darts look and taste like carrots to guinea pigs. That is the only food I have seen Milo eat with that much speed. Nerf darts and carrots. Who knew? Anyone?

nintendo, why do you not ship enough product?

go into the stores. Just, go. Walk thee into any electronics section and have a looksie. What you'll find is xbox and playstation out the wazoo. What is missing? Nintendo products. I'm not looking for the Wii that everyone else was on the hunt for. No, I need a DS lite. Why now 2 weeks after Christmas can I NOT FIND A STINKIN' DS LITE? Why, Nintendo?? Why?? No one can answer that for me, and the geek at GameStop had the audacity to laugh in my face when I asked if they had any in stock. Then I shot him with the semi-automatic I keep in the minivan for just such an instance. You know, when a pimple-faced 19 yr old makes fun of my stupidity. He had it coming. Asshat. Really, I just thanked him politely for his complete lack of help and wished him luck getting a 'real job' someday.

The people at Nintendo have been on my personal shitlist since the first time Justin's gameboy broke and they charged an outrageous $75 to fix an game that only cost $120 to begin with. I thought that was the charge because he had broken the screen. Nope. This time something minor is broken and I find out that $75 is the STANDARD repair charge. So now they want me to pay a second $75 charge. Meaning, if I've done my math correctly, I've paid more for it to be repaired than I paid for it initially. How's that for a side dish of ironic? One of the things on Justin's wish list to Santa was "something to fix my broken DS" Awww...pull at mama's heartstrings. So we decided to just get a new one. Only it was a week before Christmas and we didn't have the spare budget to fork out the cash for it right then. Santa left Justin a new charger for his old Gameboy SP (his mysteriously has disappeared several times) and a note telling him he had taken the DS to the workshop to see if the elves could fix it and that he'd send it back in a week or 2 (coincidentally pay day time) and that hopefully he could charge up the old SP and that would keep him happy in the meantime.

So...fast forward to today. Payday!! I'm going to buzz over to Target and get a nice latte and a new DS. Only they're out of stock. So I take my delicious latte, hop back in the van and go next door to Meijer. Nope out of stock. Only a little deterred, I sip my latte on the way to WalMart. Again, denied. I then think to try GameStop. Which is when I got made fun of and began to think there maybe, just maybe, would be a little problem getting my hands on a DS today. Or any day soon. I came home and began making phone calls. People, they are sold out everywhere within a 30 mile radius of my house. WTF? This is not the "in" toy this year. Why can't I find one? I finally found a WalMart 30 min from my house that had a few in stock. They wouldn't hold one for me so I jumped right skippy into my van and drove (minus the latte this time). When I got there a different pimple faced boy told me they had just sold the last one. He was lucky that I had to park really far away and it was too cold to walk to the van to retrieve the semi automatic. I was a smidge on the angry side.

So, Nintendo. I must ask you...why do you make fun toys that everyone wants, but not enough of them? Why do you mock me with shelves full of pink DS and nary a black, red, or white one in sight? Why?? WHY??

true confessions...

it has been 4 months since my last official weigh in.
I haven't exercised regularly in almost that long.
I have gained ___ pounds. I can't say it outloud. Don't try twisting my arm. I won't say it.
I did 45 min on the the elliptical today and it about killed me.
But it didn't.
My ass is SO back on the wagon even though it's so big it barely fits up here.
Holidays are a bitch on my waistline.

buh-bye 2007...

is it just me or was 2007 the fastest year EVER?? I seriously do not believe that I have to write 2008 on stuff already. One of my family members said aloud yesterday to anyone who was listening (I think just me) "hopefully 2008 will be better because 2007 sucked". It gave me pause because my own personal 2007 wasn't all that bad. It was pretty good. I made some new friends. Settled into a new house that I love- leaky pipes and all. Got to spend more time with my family- psychotic behavior and all. Got to spend more time laughing with my oldest (not in years, just in time) and dearest friend than I have in years. Continued to laugh my ass off with my oldest (in years- sorry Carol) and bestest friend. Laughed at my husband (not that this is unusual, just seems like I laughed at and with him more often).

There was a little bad here and there thrown in, but if it was all good people would start questioning my vodka/tequila consumption.

When asked for my resolutions I snort. No, seriously. I literally snort. I don't DO resolutions. I suck at them. I want to get back on track with my weight loss but that has less to do with a new year than it does with the holidays being over and me being less likely to encounter trays of cookies at every destination. I guess if pushed I would say that I resolve to start running this year. I want to run the 5k that I usually walk in the Race For The Cure this summer. However I have been saying for 2 years now that I am going to do that, so is this THE year? I dunno. Maybe. No really, trust me. I suck at resolutions. I could resolve to say NO more often, but puh-lease. Who would I be if not everyone's 'yes girl'? It is not a resolution I can even say with a straight face. So I guess I resolve to make no resolutions and just try to keep laughing at myself and those who I love and hold dear. Sounds good for 2008. Cheers!

sick and twisted are we...

so there is a lot that my mom, sister, and i don't see eye to eye on. I **think** I may have mentioned something about it in my last post. HOWEVER, we are each as sick and twisted as the other. We went on a girly date yesterday and took my grandma to a movie. She loves Johnny Depp (yes, my grandma has a 'thing' for Johnny Depp. He's even hot to the grandma set) so of course we chose Sweeney Todd. I gave them all a heads up on the story line, because if you aren't prepared for it, gory doesn't begin to describe the plot. My grandma is who made me the horror movie lovin' girl I am today and hello?? Johnny Depp?? So, I wasn't at all worried about her. I was a little worried about my mom. She's not a big fan of gore. I shouldn't have been concerned. Her inappropriate sense of humor outweighed her gross-out level. We were knee slapping the whole way through the movie and cackling like hens. The teeny-boppers in front of us were HORRIFIED at what was happening on screen. We thought it was hysterical. So I guess we do have something in common. Cannibalism can be funny. To us. And Tim Burton.

christmas mission statement...

so this was THE YEAR for our family. The year where you decide the stress of trying to have a fun family-lovin' get together is neither fun nor family lovin'. This is the year that all of my "issues" came to a head and I have officially hit my personal limit. My family can continue going down the path they have chosen. Without me. I will, from now on, not participate in opening gifts around my siblings. I will stay home and enjoy my family, my kids, my husband. These are the things that bring me joy. Watching my siblings open the gifts my parents lavish them with is like pouring salt in all of my open wounds. I can't much talk about it without sounding like an ungrateful brat. My parents buy me nice things too, don't get me wrong. I appreciate all they do for me. Just in comparison...well there is no comparison. I apologize to everyone who has had to listen to me rant this week. It has been an ugly week for me. Now I have come to understand that I have to take control of my own life, my own family and not let anyone else spoil what should be a fun holiday.
I love my parents and sibs to pieces. I know that we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. I think that's pretty normal. I just have to let a lot of stuff go. Stuff that has been clouding my vision of who I am for too many years now. How I am going to do it is a mystery to me, but I gotta do it.
There...wasn't that fun? I sort of feel like Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire. I'll just bag up my fish and go now.

your holiday laugh...

because everyone is maxed-out, tired, stressed, cranky, and more. You need to laugh today. NEED it. Trust me. I'm offering to you the one thing that makes me laugh like a loon no matter how many times I see it. If Pete Schweddy and his balls don't make you laugh, there is something wrong with you. Go to the doctor today. No seriously. Go.

do you hear them calling???

so we spent most of saturday watching the snow fall and baking cookies and other christmas goodies. Now I have all of my teachers goodies done and the frames to go with them. This is FABULOUS! What is NOT fabulous? The fact that I have lots and lots of extra goodies. Chocolate covered pretzels and all of my favorite Christmas cookies called out to me all day yesterday. Since I am not one to ignore the pleas of a good cookie...well... I ate a lot of cookies yesterday. It's scary what a chocolate covered pretzel does to my will power. It obliterates it. Leaving nothing but a whisper of a memory of a will power.
But damn...cover a pretzel in chocolate and drizzle it with toffee chips. A word of warning: it might just become your new best friend. Consider yourself warned :)

send me the therapy bills...

i remember many years ago, reading a book that had a chapter in it that pissed me right off. It was a parenting book and they have a tendency to piss me right off in sections, because they spout "the best way" to parent and I just don't think there is a best way. Anyway...this particular chapter was on the the PROPER age spacing between children. I was pregnant at the time with Miss H and Justin was a wee infant. The chapter talked about how unfair it was to have children less than 2 years spaced because the older child misses out on so much one on one time with his/her parents. In my brain at the time I was all "WTF!!" I mean, the 2nd and subsequent kids never experience true one on one time, so does that mean they're never going to be truly happy either? And also...I feared I had destroyed Justin's chance at happiness because "whoops... we got pregnant this time a little earlier than we planned" it took us forever to conceive Justin so when we got pregnant after a mere longing glance at each other from across the room (it may have been a little more than that, but not much) it was a bit of a shock. The accident that is now my one and only girl child, put our 1st two children at a little more than an 18 month apart spacing. So you can understand my WTF response to the notion that I was destroying my son's happiness by giving him a sibling 6 mo earlier than the experts suggest. I was already putting money aside for his therapy later. OK..not really... but I wanted to. Fast forward 6 or so years. Yesterday while the older 2 were at school and I had Ry at home with me, we were snuggling on the couch watching a movie. As I lay there content with him in my arms it occurred to me that I never got to do that with the other 2. I always had a younger child underfoot. There has never been a time until now that I could have spur of the moment, unscheduled, one on one time with one of my kids- well not since Justin was 18 mo old. I don't really think it has caused them to be mentally unbalanced. Well...maybe a little, but no more than the average mentally unbalanced child. It just made me realize that I need to carve out time for each of them on their own. And be thankful for the 30 min or so that I can sometimes get Ry to stop being a whirlwind and just sit under a blanket with me and watch part of a movie.

bitter is the soup of the day...

i hate my spot as the oldest, responsible child in my family. No really. I. HATE. it. My family is going (for the second year in a row) to the National Championship football game this Jan. 7 to watch the Buckeyes play. My whole family. Oh. Except... not me. Because really, who would stay and take care of the dogs? Actually my sister is also not going, but only because she has to be back to Boston for classes before it's over. Otherwise FOR SURE she'd have gotten a ticket. But I'm not bitter. No, seriously.

the curse of the cosmo...

so matt's company christmas party was last night. And they decided to do an open bar this year. I was all "Wheeeeee!! Belly up to the bar!! Order me something delicious!" So was Matt's co-worker's wife. Quite a pair we were. Then later I lost her. Only to find out later she was very sick. Not to be deterred by her inability to hold liquor, I was all "Wheee!! I'll have another Cosmo!!" Only it was my 4th Cosmo. And they were mixing them suckers strong. Needless to say there are whole pieces of last night that are missing from my memory. Matt promises I never made a fool out of myself. He won't promise that he didn't take advantage of my weakened condition. Bastard. What I learned from this experience?

1. Just because top shelf alcohol is being offered free of charge, you don't have to drink it. All.
2. A Cosmo is really nothing more than a giant vodka with a splash of cranberry juice.
3. 4 Cosmos? Not a good idea.
4. The porcelain gods are still not good to me.
5. I don't know how I survived college.

Because....I didn't crawl out of bed until 11 am today. Well unless you count the 5 times I ran to puke my guts out. I will NEVER touch a Cosmo again and just the thought of cranberry juice makes me queasy today.
But P.S... I looked really cute last night. I think. I don't really remember much.

this makes me want a do-over on our 1st dance...

maybe for our 25th anniversary we can renew our vows???

how could you???

i am in hair misery right now. My hair is well... miserable. I have neglected it for entirely too long. I hate that I do that to my hair. It just happens. It grows out into a ponytail and without realizing it I become "ponytail girl" who never does anything resembling style. Unless you still think scrunchies are the rage. I do not.
I am just at the trust point with my new hair dude (this is my first hair 'dude' and I ADORE him) where I was going to go in and say to him "Drew, if you could do anything you wanted to with my head, what would it be?" and then I was going to LET HIM DO IT. I called to schedule an appointment this week before Matt's company Christmas party and **GASP** Drew is no longer with us. WHAT??!!?? Where has he gone? Why didn't he call me? How could he? Apparently he wasn't allowed to call me and tell me. I am in mourning over this. I now have to turn my head over to a complete stranger the day before the party and hope I don't come away looking like Dudley Moore. Or go to the party with a festive scrunchie. Neither is an alternative that makes me happy.

things i managed to accomplish today...

1. telling my mother i would NOT help her with her christmas decorating.
2. telling her again.
3. and then one more time because 2 solid NOs are never, ever enough for my mama.
4. ordered my Christmas cards
5. re-ordered family pics because I grossly underestimated their cuteness.
6. tackled laundry- actually washed, dried, and put away most of it. Most of it.
7. looked at cowboy ass.
8. wished I was born in OOOOOOklahoma (where the winds come sweeping down the plains) (and there are cowboys aplenty)
9. took picture retake money to my first born at school.
10. could not curse first born for forgetting to take it with him today, since the reason he needed retakes on said pictures is because his ever-lovin' mama forgot to put his picture envelope in his backpack the first time around.
11. ****sigh**** cowboys. Just once more. Or twice. But not a third time. Well maybe a third. Or fourth. But that's all!!
12. stripped the sheets on the girl child's bed. Hoping this helps kill the flu bug that is following her around these days.
13. noticed grimy toilets.
14. did nothing but ignore them and put them off for another day.

Can you say excitement? I know my life lacks passion on most days. Not today, though! Did I mention the cowboys??

bringing crazy back...

that about sums up what this weekend has been. I had in mind a nice relaxing weekend. Silly me. Matt was off work Wed. thru Sun. so I thought we'd get some stuff done and have time to vegitate. Not so much. Hannah was sick Mon- Wed. Ryan was sick Thurs- Sat. Hannah started puking again on Sun. morning and we're still dealing with that. This weekend was a lot of: you go visit with your family, I'll stay with the sick chiclet. Then we'll switch. Fun! Family togetherness! Relaxation! NOT. My house is a pit of destruction that smells vaguely of vomit and I don't have lick of energy to fix it.
I got a little Christmas shopping done on Sat (the one day that no one had a fever or ookie stomach) but when I got home and looked at the loot it became all too clear how much I actually have left to do. This week the calendar flips to DECEMBER. Can I get a YIKES??
I also came to the realization this weekend that there are some people who you cannot possibly make happy. And also those same people will never like you the way you want them to. This was a hard realization for me because I am one of those personalities that craves for everyone to like me. Oh well. I just have to live with it. Or at least try to. And now I can relax. Instead of always being on guard and not acting like...well...acting like me. I'm just going to be myself because what difference does it make at this point? I've tried every other possible me-ness and none of my fun personalities has been pleasing to said people/person.
Family time can be oh-so fun.