back to reality...

I had the most wonderful-est weekend. Carol was flown up to the frozen tundra that is the state of Ohio for the weekend. This is no small feat. She is a South Carolinian who is originally from Florida. Did you catch the earlier bit about the frozen tundra that is Ohio?? Needless to say, while shopping, I was at that stage where you just give up and leave your coat in the car because it's too damn hot to wear it in the store and too bulky to carry it and shop. Carol on the other hand, had my heavy coat with the zipout fleece liner (zipped in), gloves, scarf, headband over her ears...in the store. Girlfriend was not easily adjusted to the tundra. But did we have fun?? Oh but of course we did!!! We drank wine that was DIVINE. Made the world's greatest margaritas (and yes, I am the authority). Worked on scrapbooks and crafty projects. ate. shopped. ate. shopped. ate. ate. ate. shopped. It was a wonderful weekend. As always, I was delirious with sadness when I dropped her off at the airport.
I think she was thrilled with the weekend also. She was begging to see snow- because being from the South, she is stupid like that :) She not only saw snow, she saw it snow so hard it was blowing sideways-this was amazing to her. We drove through blowing snow that cause white-out conditions. All the things that make southerners twitch, while us northerners barely notice. So, she got the snow she asked for and all of the above mentioned fun-ness. What more can you ask for??
Oh and P.S. I had alcohol IN FRONT OF MY KIDS. Eat your heart out Dr. Janet Taylor.

cocktails and kids....

I don't mix them up for my kids, but I know they appreciate seeing me mix them sometimes. They've never said it out loud, but I think that when I'm in a particularly foul state of mind they must be happy when they see mama's blue shaker come out for the 4 o'clock cocktail. Is that horrible? I just don't think it is. I'm not an alcoholic. Does me saying that mean I am??? I don't NEED a drink to get through the day, but sometimes it sure does help me get through that black tunnel that is the 4-6 p.m. time slot (sometimes 6:30 and WOW does that 1/2 hr make a difference!).
Why am I talking about this??? Because someone I know was on the Today Show talking about the same subject this morning. It was super cool to see an old friend on TV. And it was funny to see her try to make a point about it being OK to drink at a playgroup with your kids, while a PhD or some such person tried to argue it against her. Because, really what are we talking about here? Someone who gets sloshed and gets in her minivan with the kids? No. More like someone who knows their limits and can have a drink with friends in the afternoon. What's the big deal? At one point the woman argued that it wasn't responsible parenting to drink in front of our children. But isn't it? Isn't it good to show them that it's OK when and ADULT has a drink and doesn't get total smashed everytime they start drinking.
Whatever....I don't want to start an arguement. It was pretty cool to see someone I knew, chatting it up with Meredith this morning.
Here's the link if you care to watch...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16818362/

help me out here...

I am trying to understand myself. Not that I expect anyone to "get" me, but at least I can hope that there are other people out there like this.
Is it possible to hate cleaning and still be somewhat of a neat freak? I am twisted like that. Cause I hate cleaning. Maybe hate is a strong word, but I can procrastinate on cleaning like nobody's business. And yet...I am a freak about my house being clean. I think it started when we had the house on the market. It always had to be clean because you never knew when someone was going to call for a showing. I spent every waking minute dusting, swiffering, vacuuming, tidying...you get the picture. I can't stop it now. I don't do it as much. But, for instance, I just finished vacuuming Justin's ceiling fan. Isn't that, like, a spring cleaning thing? Maybe it's not and normal people do it regularly, but I can promise you it doesn't feel normal, to me, to feel compelled to vacuum a fan. I was thinking the other day how nice it would be to take some money from the money tree out back and have a cleaning lady come in once a month. Then I thought to myself "self...that's crazy. You know they wouldn't do all the things you want them to do. Then you'd bitch because they didn't vacuum the fan blades." I'd just feel like I was wasting my money tree money.
I used to want to die if someone showed up unannounced at my home. Because, wow, the mess. Maybe it was because our house was smaller. I just don't feel now like I would die a thousand deaths if someone saw my house on any given day now. Granted there are a lot more places to stash the chaos around here. Don't dare open Hannah's closet. Ever. You will have nightmares. Believe me. But on the main floor...I am constantly wiping off counters, picking up toys, swiffering...the average person could walk into my house and not be traumatized by what they saw. Unless you opened Hannah's closet, and seriously?? I warned you about that, didn't I?? I cannot claim you wouldn't have been forever traumatized by the chaos before our house went on the market last year. I guess I am a changed woman. It's not a bad thing, it just causes conflict in my head. Like, I am compelled to clean, but I don't wanna. What is extra weird is that I am not traumatized by mess in other people's houses. So why do I feel the need to always have my house be clean? Are the clean police patrolling my neighborhood? I think not. But if they do, they can check the ceiling fan blades with white gloves. They are clean as a whistle!

Edited to add: this does not mean you won't come into my house and find dog hair all over and crumbs on the table. There is only so much one human can do in a day. I don't WANT you to find these things, but you will because I don't wanna clean it up right now.

now I know...

so a skinny, little, old man made fun of me today. Had I not had my hands full of wiggling, grouchy, pain in the ass 2 1/2 year old, I'd might have kicked his scrawny ass. He'd have thought twice before making fun of the housewife at the hardware store on a snowy morning ever again. Why did he make fun of me you ask? Was it my stained sweat pants? Was it my static loving hair? Was it the fact that I spent my 5 minutes in the store saying "stop it!" "don't touch him!" "no, you can't have that!" "no, there are no toys here!" at least 100 times a piece? No. Nope. None of those. He was making fun of me because I was looking for rock salt. In the store. Isn't that hysterical?? Like wet your pants, spit coffee out of your nose hysterical?? Yeah, no. I didn't think so either. But the skinny old man did. So did the employee who fetched my rock salt from the barn out back.
I forget now and then that the town we live in was a farm town about 10 years ago. Apparently the hardware store is still "farm town". Now I know they keep stuff like rock salt in the barn. And P.S. they only sell it in 40 or 80# bags. Not 20#. Ever. You can make fun of me too now if you want. But be careful. There is a foul mood lurking about today. You've been fore-warned.

One word...

This Moment: hungry
Your Shoes: muddy
Craving: cheeseburger
The State of Your Home: earthquake
Annoyed By: one-upping
Noise In the Background: Shrek
Really Want To: shop
Thinking About: paint
Smelling: coffee
Favorite Product In Office Supply Aisle: calendar
Don't Ever Want To: forget
Your Eye Color: blue
The Weather: snowy
Have Never Tried: sky-diving
Think Everyone Should Try: brownies
Last Vacation Destination: Scotland
The Last Thing You Had to Drink: coffee
Your Bad Habit: procrastination
What You're Going To Do Now: vacuum

just another day....

so, yeah...today's my birthday. I remember as a child the freakish anticipation that I had for this day. Like it was magical and I would suddenly feel a bit older and wiser when I woke up. I'm not sure if I did...I can't remember. Either way, birthdays no longer hold the magical spark. I am a little excited because I get Carol in less than 2 weeks for a whole weekend and that is a way cool present. And I am drinking my fave coffee this morning because Karen still remembers what I love best and that I can only get it in Michigan. Matt told me not to worry about dinner tonight so that could be good or bad...who knows what it might be, but at least I don't have to cook or clean up, right?
Maybe if I'm super lucky, I can use my birthday money to get the bookshelf I have been longing for in the living room. I'm pretty sure I never anticipated such a lame thing for my birthday when I was a child, but it seems silly to wish for a Barbie now like I did then! And the coffee pot I am drooling over is out of the question if I want the bookshelves. Older = more practical it seems.

disclosures...

as I watched the front window drip with water today, I was thinking of the former owners of our house. Again. Because the water was dripping on the inside, not on the outside where it should be. It leads me to wonder if it has always done that and they just forgot to mention it. Sort of like they forgot to mention that our lovely sliding glass door was backwards and didn't quite fit. We hated them for that. For a long time. Then a little bird (OK not a bird, it was Carol) reminded me of the list o' shit we left for the new owners of our old house to find out on their own. Things like...
- you can't use a real blow dryer or you'll knock out the power. You have to use a travel blow dryer with less wattage.
- the ceiling may fall in, in the basement. The pipes used to sweat really bad in the summer when the A/C was cranked. That may have caused an issue with the drywall. I'll never know, but the new owners might now.
- you will freeze your ass off in the winter while sitting in the living room until you replace those 50+ year old windows. I was just there this weekend and I see you haven't done it yet. You might change your mind now that the real winter is coming to SE Michigan.
- you will not be able to control the temperature in the summer either. Those windows let in copious amounts of sunshine, which is beautiful, but also copious amounts of heat. Not so good.
-the cable hook-up in the basement cuts out when the dryer buzzer goes off. Sorry, we never could figure that one out.
- you will never be able to cook a full-out meal in your kitchen. You will curse this when you entertain unless you order pizza. Jet's is right down the road though, and their pizza works in a pinch.

And that's just what I could come up with off the top of my head. I'm certain there is more they are cursing us for. So, in our much newer (by about 40 years) home we find different problems, but problems none the less. Home ownership does not allow you to escape these issues. They call them disclosures in the legal paperwork you sign when you buy or sell, but no one REALLY discloses those type of issues. Or maybe they do. Maybe I should delete this now so that the new owners of our former home don't sue us.
So I think about the little issues I left at our old house and no longer hate the old owners of our new house. I would however like to know when our house will stop being referred to as their house. And when will the neighbors will know us as more than the people who bought the Smith's* house?

*look at me, protecting the name of the former owners. Smith is obviously NOT their real name.

i'm over it...

in case you thought I was TRULY in mourning over the Buckeyes, I'm not that Ohio State crazy. I just had an overwhelming week. One of those non-stop, full of chaos type weeks that make you wish you had time to mix a drink, but alas... not even a mixing moment can be found. I did finally come out of the chaos and have a fabulous trip up North to see the Michigan buddies. It was the perfect cap to an insane week, because my good friend Julie is a fabulous cocktail shaker and she had a new, to-die-for margarita recipe. I REALLY needed a good margarita this weekend! The actual reason for the trip was a surprise baby shower for our friend Sarah who was the final 2-child hold out in our insane group. Come this March we will all have 3 children and the circle will be complete. If they would agree to it, we would probably all march our husbands in together to have vasectomies at the same time, because it is our shared belief that for our families, 3 is ENOUGH! We had Sarah believing that we were coming up for my birthday and all the girls were celebrating me (!!) while the husbands kept the children at another house (which in and of itself was a reason to celebrate!). When she arrived she was shocked to find the party was for her and babe number 3! It was a good time :) Even better for the rest of us because we had a built in designated driver. We toasted her with margaritas while she drank pink lemonade and chuckled at our drunken stupidity. The kids all had a total blast and there wasn't even one argument- monumental considering there were 11 kids between the ages of 6 and 2 in one house for multiple hours.
It is always good and bad for me to see them again. I miss them terribly. We have gotten each other through some really tough times. They mean the world to me and it sucks that our visits are so few and far between now. What is wonderful for me to see is that our kids still fall into playing with each other like they always have. It's like they were never away.
After a long, hard week it was a true perfection weekend.

WTF

you'll have to excuse me while I have a day of mourning for my beloved Buckeyes who were regrettably absent for last night's National Championship game. Word on the street is the ACTUAL team was lost in an oscure airport in Mexico, so they fielded a team of high school freshman in their place.

it's january....

no really. It is! I know it's 59-ish and rainy and if you're like me, that just screams April, but seriously, it's January. Never in my memory have I seen this winter. We haven't had snow yet. Nothing that stuck anyways. I'm not complaining- don't get me wrong. I'm all about this new improved winter we have been handed thus far. We are traipsing up North to good ol' MI in about a week, so I'm sure we'll be buried that weekend. And we'll still have to go because devastation does not touch upon what my children would feel if we had to cancel that trip. They are DYING to see their old buddies up north. Actually, so am I. I am craving time surrounded by people who float in the same boat I do. I miss my gang. It's like sliding into an old comfortable pair of jeans, because we just are who we are and we love each other for it. So damn the snow mounds (if they are indeed coming) off to MI we go.
Today it is raining and raining and raining. I was all blah and miserable about it, but I cheered myself right up by blasting U2 from the ipod on my sparkly new Bose speakers. It's almost as good as live, but not quite because no Bono...and he is so...yum... But it sounds pretty damn good. U2 has an amazing way of cheering me up. Even on rainy, spring, January days.

thoughts on pinewood derby....

there are things in child-rearing that i come across that make me insane. Some things I am mentally prepared for, others...not so much. One of the things I am mentally prepared for is watching my child lose at things because the kid who won has parents who do projects for them. You know the ones who come up with atomic bombs for the 4th grade science fair? That is one of those things that makes me bonkers. What exactly is it that you are teaching your child when you do a project start to finish while they watch? How smart their mommy/daddy is?
So, this year in tiger scouts we are being introduced to pinewood derby. Anyone in scouts knows what it is, for those who don't, the kids are building a car out of a block of wood and racing them to see who can make the fastest car. Matt spent the better part of yesterday researching how to (legally) make Justin's car fast. I had to politely remind him that this is (ahem) not his car, it is Justin's car. Justin has already chosen his body style, color, etc. No matter how much Matt wants a different style, he must be reminded it is no longer his turn to make a car. He already had his time in pinewood derby spotlights. So pretty much I have been forcing Matt to let Justin do his own thing. Matt cut the car out for him and will assist him if it's dangerous, otherwise he is to keep his mouth duct taped shut. Because of this, I know we will arrive with our lime green car with painted on fire that is not sanded to perfection and look around to see cars that look like they were designed at GM or Ford laboratories and know that the scout involved with the making of that car did little more than play his gameboy while his dad did all the work. And that pisses me off. But what can you do? Other than know it will be a lesson for Justin, that sometimes that's just the way it goes. Might as well prepare him for the upcoming years of science fair hell, yes?
It is my supreme hope that Justin gets a thrill out of just watching his car roll down the track and that he won't care yet that he doesn't win. Not that I think he won't, but I'm guessing not all of the moms made their husband throw away the plans for uber-aerodynamic models that they pulled off of the internet.

this year i resolve...

not to make resolutions. Because, I figure, why bother? I resolve to do the same shit every year and I pretty much end up in the same place. OK...not totally true. Last year I wanted to lose weight. And I did. 30 lbs. and I managed to keep 25 of it off. I think. I haven't gotten on the scale since before New Year's Eve and, good GOD, my mom made the most fabulous ribs on the planet. Made myself sick eating them. Yes indeed. Where was I? OH YEAH! Weight loss...blah blah blah. 20 more lbs this year yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'd love to resolve to stop cursing in front of my children. Especially since last week when Ryan spilled a full glass of chocolate milk all over the floor, without skipping a beat Hannah says "what the hell?" I had to do a double take to see if it was me or her speaking. OOPS. At least she isn't dropping the F bomb. Yet. So like I said, I'd like to curse less in front of my kids. Really I would. But I think I resolved to do that last year too and that brings me back to where this story started.
So this year I resolve to not make resolutions. I think that way next year at this time I can say I was successful.
Happy New Year to all. Don't forget to write 2007 now.

all crazy things must come to an end...

Christmas has come and gone for yet another year. I love the holiday. It is by far my favorite, but it sure does zap your energy and patience towards the end. I had to keep remind myself to slow down yesterday. Take a breath and enjoy everyone and the zany things they do. Try to not growl when Hannah ask me to open yet another Barbie box. Why do they attach Barbies into the boxes with 40 twist ties? And they sew their hair to the box?? Huh?? Just, why? I was so tired of opening them by the end of the day. But then I watch her take their little shoes off (to be sucked up by the vacuum later this week-stay tuned) and play with their hair and change their clothes. She is in little girl heaven. Justin is in little boy heaven too, but he is so absorbed in video games, I have a hard time actually seeing the joy first hand. I think Matt gets Justin's joy more then I do. Ry is just funny playing with his stuff. And everyone else's stuff. We were cracking up watching him play last night. He goes from painting his face with Hannah's new makeup kit, to running around with a light saber and a Darth Vader helmet on. It's this stuff I have to take in and enjoy. Soon enough they'll be opening boxes with boring stuff like clothes.
Hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas! Twist tied toys and all.

enough with the list already...

so why bother making a list? I crossed off so very little and just added more to it. Blah.
In my defense, I did get the bathrooms clean and got a mountain of laundry clean. Of course now I have to put a mountain of clothes away and flip out every time someone uses a toilet. I quietly pondered making them use the great outdoors instead of dirtying my clean potties, but that might have gotten a little weird with the neighbors and the public park behind us and all. But I digress...in the end, I am allowing my family to carefully pee in toilets and begging them not to make me clean them again until Christmas is long over. Or at least Dec 26th.
Added to my list are small gifts for the neighborhood children. Apparently we were exchanging them?? No one told me. Silly me, I assumed that the children's gift swap at the neighborhood party served this purpose. Guess not. Either way, I am shopping the dollar store for them because I refuse to drop a ton of cash on it. Go ahead, call me scrooge.
I also added a couple of other things that I have already forgotten because I am refusing to write shit down this week. I'll remember later and freak out all over again. It's all good.
None of it matters because tomorrow I am entering the 7th level of hell. I must do all of my Christmas shopping with all of the other last minute shoppers. In my head, I think that finding a parking spot will send me into mad screaming fits, let alone actually entering stores and standing in lines. Just thinking about it makes my head spin. My answer to all of this is to force my husband to stop in the middle of the day and take me to my current favorite food spot so I can eat some good grub :) My other answer to the mess is to shrug my shoulders and just go with it. If we can't find everything on the list, we'll find something else. To quote Tom Cruise before he became a raging, couch jumping, cradle robbing, know-it-all jackass, "sometimes you just have to say, what the fuck". I think I'll be saying it a lot tomorrow. My sister is watching the kids for us so I won't be saying it in front of them. I am thanking God for my sister and her willingness to stay with them. Dragging the 3 of them around with us tomorrow would mean adding another stop or 5 to the liquor store.
Dear Santa: all I want for Christmas is sanity.

this list that never ends...

Amy's to-do...

1. make teacher cards. have son sign cards and remind him 14 times to actually deliver cards today at school.

2. bake, bake, and bake some more. I have had one batch of cookies so far turn out good, the rest have been horrible.

3. go to grocery and find cookies that look homemade to pass off to Santa.

4. go to liquor store.

5. pick up ornaments that have fallen off (or been knocked off) of the tree AGAIN.

6. purchase almost all of our gifts. i still have 4 days, right? **twitch** **twitch**

7. go to liquor store.

8. wrap all of the *&^% -ing gifts.

9. threaten to call Santa's cell phone (shut up, it is 2006- you know he has one now!) for the 137th time this month.

10. build a robo-mom to clean my house.

11. realize robo-mom needs the same damn batteries that everything else in this house needs that WE DON'T HAVE.

12. throw robo-mom in the yard.

13. go to liquor store.

14. clean house and threaten children with bodily harm and a call to Santa's cell if they touch anything or pee even a drop outside of the toilet. (Matt this goes for you too)

15. go to grocery for the 20th time this week.

16. go to liquor store.

17. Pick up ornaments that have fallen off the tree AGAIN. Throw ornaments and tree out in the yard with robo-mom.

i want it all....

there is a very, very fine line that most kids are walking this time of year. My six year old is falling off to one side right now. It's that line between being a greedy rat bastard and just being a normal kid who wants a lot of cool stuff. I like to think he is more on the normal kid side, but all I have heard for days is what he wants. My kids do not lack much. I hate to call them spoiled, but they have a lot of stuff. This boy of mine, whined at the neighborhood Christmas party because the Transformer he got in the gift exchange was a small one, not a big one. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment at his behavior. I know that kids are prone to bratty nature at this time of year, but I feel like by ignoring it and calling it "just being a kid" it makes it seem like that is OK to me. It is not. I lectured him when we got home and then again yesterday we talked about the spirit of the season, and how good it makes you feel to do for others instead of concentrating on making a list in your head of all the stuff you want to have.
I don't think most of it penetrated his head. He just nodded at me and then went back to whatever he was doing. Am I being a nag? Probably. I ended our little discussion last night by telling him if he dared look around on Christmas day after opening his pile-o-presents and say "is that it?" (isn't that every mother's nightmare?? Tell me it is, and it's not just me) I was going to pack up all of his gifts and take them to a child who deserved them. That struck a little fear into his face.
On another Christmas-y note, I now have a prominent twitch in my left eye. Love that. I'm thinking that's a sure sign of stress and I can't fix it until Friday. That, my friends, makes me want to twitch more.

because apparently I need to be told more than once...

more than 4 glasses of wine = hellacious hangover

and why do I never remember to pop 2 advil before going to sleep (passing out in this case) ??

On the bright side, I was so drunk, I didn't even notice my screaming feet. Problem solved!

pretend these shoes don't make your feet bleed...

we have an evening out tonight. Matt's sister is keeping the kids, we are going to Cincy (2 hrs South), and have a hotel for a whole night. You'd think I'd be jumping for joy, correct? I wish I was, but I despise gatherings like this. Matt's company Christmas party. Just the thought makes me want to scream and run around in circles. I'm good in groups where I know 2 or 3 people, but in a group where I don't know anyone but Matt, and he knows everyone? Yikes. I'm going to be introduced to 40 or so people tonight and not remember more than 3 of their names. Sounds fun, yes? Blah. Plus I have to dress up. This also makes me want to scream and run around in circles. I won't be able to do that though, because I'll have shoes on that are so uncomfortable they make my feet beg me to remove them. But they're so pretty!!

kick ass cookies and a game of tag...

i must pat myself on the back. I finished teacher gifts today. Divine mint chocolate covered pretzels. Then because I have to take cookies to Hannah's class tomorrow and because I love them, I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Only I don't really have a good recipe for them because I have two people who make them for me because they know I love them SO VERY MUCH. I wanted to find a good one so I shopped food network's website and came across one that looked good. It's not good, it is kick ass good! They are yummy beyond all reason.

Then I got tagged by Janet, so tag I'm it...here's a game of ABC tag...

A - Available or single: None of the above. Married for 11 1/2 yrs.
B - Best friend: I'm so lucky! I have 2! Kelley & Carol
C- Cake or pie: Cake...I love cake... and pie...wonder why my ass is so big??
D - Drink of choice: Chocolate martinis or Diet Mt Dew if I'm not being an alcoholic
E - Essential item you use everyday: My coffee pot
F - Favorite color: Periwinkle
G- Gummy bears or worms: GAGGING. I hate gummy anything.
H- Hometown: Columbus, Ohio
I - Indulgence: Cheryl's Cookies
J - January or February: January - 'cause it's my birthday month!
K - Kids & names: Justin (6), Hannah (5), Ryan (2)
L - Life is incomplete without? laughter
M - Marriage date: June 24, 1995
N - Number of siblings: 3
O - Oranges or apples: apples. oranges are too much damn work.
P - Phobias or fears: Sharks & being locked in a small enclosed space
Q - Fave quote: I could be the walrus, I'd still have to bum rides. (Ferris Bueller)
R - Reason to smile: Ryan singing 'Jingle Bells'
S - Season: Fall
T - Tag 3 or 4 people: Jenn P, Carol, Elle
U - Unknown fact about me: I can do the splits 3 ways.
V- Vegetable you don't like: Cooked spinach
W - Worst habit: excessive bitching
X - Xrays: ?? probably 10-ish??
Y - Your fave food: Mexican
Z - Zodiac sign: Capricorn (that's me- the goat!)

gone but never forgotten...

the world lost a really cool lady this week. I was lucky to call her my grandma. She had a rough couple of months at the end, but the majority of her life rocked. She was a nurse. Not just any nurse, a nurse who went into the army during World War II. She went all over Europe. She had fabulous stories about going on rides in stolen jeeps, hoping on airplanes for quickie trips to Casablanca, having people take pictures of her that would turn her parents hair grey. She was fun like that. She also had stories about following the soldiers in to liberate concentration camps. Every time I sat down with her she told me a story. Lots of times you would get the same story over and over. Like when she was so mad at my dad she jerked him into the house so fast she doesn't remember opening the screen door. She thinks she pulled him smack through it. Or the one she always told my sister about the cool bar she was at in Boston (my sister goes to Boston University) that rotated around in a circle once an hour. Only they didn't know it rotated so they thought they were a little punch drunk :) This happened the night before she shipped out for Europe. Most of the cool stories she told were about things that happened in her 20s. You could only wish to live as full of a life by the time you were in your mid- 20s.
Once she came home from the war, she started a family and continued nursing. She was a nurse at Children's Hospital for 30+ years. She worked some of the floors that most nurses say it takes a special kind of person to work. She was a special kind of person. When I had my tonsils out, I don't remember much more than vomiting for 4 days straight and her bringing me Garfield comic books to cheer me up. She made sure my nurses knew she was my grandma so that I got VIP status. But mostly it was the Garfield books. We both loved him.
I spent what was her last day at the hospital for 8 hours. I sat with her and if she woke up, I rubbed her arm or stroked her hair until she fell back to sleep. She wasn't aware enough to even know I was there, but I talked to her anyways. Sort of a little closure for me I guess. I didn't know it was her last day, but I knew it was coming.
Today was her funeral. She got a full military honor, 21 guns and all. She'd have loved that. It would have been even more exciting to her because one of the soldiers who folded up her flag was a woman. She was buried in her sweats because it's what she would've wanted. She'd have said she didn't want to wear panty hose through the pearly gates. We also made sure that on her feet, she was sporting her new pair of crocs. She is showing them to everyone in heaven right this minute I'm sure. She had to have them when she saw that all the nurses were wearing them. Everyone knows that nurses have the most comfortable shoes. It was one of the things she kept asking for in the hospital when she was all but delirious. She wanted those shoes!
I'm sad that she is gone. Sad that my kids aren't old enough to remember her stories and that they'll have to hear them second-hand from all of us. I cried when they played 'Taps' for her, but wanted to smile through my tears because if she'd been able, she'd have asked them to play 'boogie-woogie bugle boy' instead. That's just the kind of girl she was.
We're really going to miss her.