better...not great... but better...

i feel marginally human again today. Marginally, in that I don't feel like I need to lay down and have a nap every time I am standing for more than 5 minutes. Good thing too, because Thurs = hell day in this house now. We have dance, gymnastics, and karate all on the same day. This from the mom who swore she'd never have her kids in more than 1 activity at a time. Just wait! In a mere few weeks baseball and soccer start up. Justin had to choose between the 2 and (of course because I HATE it) he chose baseball. Hannah wants to do soccer again. Hopefully Matt will have to coach Justin's baseball team so he'll be in charge of getting him there. Because, seriously, I despise baseball. I don't have concrete reasons for it, so don't bother asking. I can't help that of all the chiclet sports there are to choose from, I hates me some baseball the most. I think it stems mostly from the fact that there is no time limit on it. You can be at one little league baseball game for days, weeks even! Slight exaggeration, but really they go on, and on, and on, f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Give me a good 45 min. soccer game any day of the week.
So anyway...feeling better today. Cranky, but better. Only a few remaining swords in my throat. Still blaming Matt for that. I'm sure he did it.

virus...

as soon as you read this, hose your keyboard down with Lysol so you don't get my death-ish germs.
I've been hit by a truck. A big truck with big wheels. In it's wake I am a shell of my former self and am currently struggling to swallow even though I am certain Matt put little, tiny swords in my throat while I was sleeping. Why would he do such a thing? Does he enjoy seeing me barely able to lift my head? Apparently. I trudged through the shower and it made me feel well enough to turn on the computer. Now I have wasted reserve energy on typing and I must go lay down and swallow swords again while the children tear the house apart.
Enjoy your day. And I wasn't kidding about the Lysol. Spray it now or face the consequences.

even the dog is in on the plot...

my children got together last night before bed. They got together to plot. They are plotting to drive me to the brink of insanity. When I am hovering on the edge, the dog is going to push me over. Oh yeah, even the dog is in on the plot. She's still haboring a bitterness over the fact that I made her get her skanky teeth cleaned last week. Dogs really hang onto grudges over that kind of stuff.
Hannah is doing her part by displaying enough attitude to make me want to pack a bag for her and point her in the direction of the road leading to grandma's house. Because, really? Only grandma would put up with her smart ass mouth without tearing her hair out.
Ryan is being three. Enough said. He wants to wear underwear, but doesn't so much want to sit on the potty. Hmmm. If he pees on my favorite chair, he'll be on his way to grandma's also. Hannah will be happy to have the company on the long walk. If they don't kill each other on the way. They probably will.
Justin is at school, so his part in the plot remains to be seen.
The dog is dancing around the house likes she needs to go out. She's been out 5 times. She goes out and then stands at the door barking. She wants to go out, but not be outside. Hmmm.
And really, I'm just in a bad mood. So pushing me to the edge of the insanity ledge is only a couple of steps. They picked a good day to want to push it. Or a bad day depending on how you look at it.
Is it Friday yet?

to ryan...

someone asked me yesterday if I ever regretted having a 3rd child. Such a bizarre question to me. Like, I really would have answered yes to that? I have never regretted a moment of your life, little man. You bring joy and laughter to me when I am in the darkest of moods. Just yesterday I was cracking smiles all day while you carried around your collection of Polly Pockets dressed in ballgowns and Star Wars figures. Polly & Yoda had a fantastic lightsaber battle and they all ride around in the Rescue Hero space ship. Even in my foul state of mind yesterday, how could I not laugh at that?
You repeat everything that everyone says. It makes Hannah insane, makes me watch my mouth, makes Justin come up with crazy sentences just to see if you'll say it too. And you do.
You always have a chocolate milk mustache. Even when I don't remember giving you chocolate milk. I wipe your face off a dozen times a day, and every time I turn around you are sporting a fu man chu style 'stache. It's rather endearing.
You have your own sense of style. No one can pick out your jammies but you and all clothing must meet your daily approval. You also can wear a Power Ranger costume that is 4 sizes to big and make it look just right. And wear it you do. All the time. Between that and the Dart Vader helmet (also a little too big) we never know which character to expect.
You keep us on our toes.
So, regret? Ummm...no. Are we thankful for you? You bet. Every minute of every day I am thankful that I have you to boss me around.

the thing they forgot to mention...

when they described this house in the real estate literature, it was "a great family house in a wonderful neighborhood". It made it seem like the perfect house for us. No one mentioned that it sits smack in the middle of the school district that NEVER HAS SCHOOL. It may have deterred me a smidge. Today my children are out of school. AGAIN. Why? Because it is foggy. Every other district in the area (and I'm not exaggerating) is on a 2 hr delay. Not us. They didn't even give the delay a shot in hopes that the fog would burn off. Just shut 'er down again. As it stands, Justin and his classmates will be making up 4 days already. I'm guessing before it's over, they'll hit that 5th day and be making up a week at the end of the school year.
UUUUGGGHHHHHH....

celebrating the year of the pig...

in a way only our family can do!

Meet Milo...

Hannah has wanted a guinea pig for months. We decided to take the plunge this weekend. We adopted him from the Humane Society. He is incredibly sweet and even more patient which is a must in this family.

So how is everyone else celebrating the year of the pig?? :)

i don't want to own a teenager....

my kids make me insane. daily. I make no bones about it. Love them, but they drive me insane. After spending 10 days with my brothers, I have a deep appreciation for my little chiclets. Why? Because they can't drive anywhere. And they don't stay out past my bedtime. Ever. My brothers have a very, very long leash. Compared to the very, very short leash that I wore at their age (more a choke collar, than a leash really) their leashes are relatively non-existent. I know, woe is me, I was the oldest child who was never allowed to do anything... blah, blah, blah. But really, I wasn't allowed out past 11 pm until I graduated High School, except for prom nights when I had to be home at midnight one year and 1 am on the other years. That's 11 pm, even on the weekends. Like I said, it was more a choke collar than a leash that I wore. I believe the reason for this was that my parents despised the boyfriend that I clung to during most of High School. With good reason. He was a loser but I didn't see that as clearly as my parents could. Now I do. Thanks for that, mom. Anyway...where was I? Oh, yes...my brothers have a lack of curfew. Meaning, basically, none at all. Not even on school nights. This is insanity to me, but they aren't my children. The problem for me is that, when I am filling in for my parents while they are off at a dog show or on a vacation, I have to deal with this ridiculous-ness. I have to lay awake worrying about them being off in a ditch somewhere until they decide to roll in the front door. Once this past week it was at 12:30 am. On a school night. Or how about 3:30 am? That one was on a weekend, but seriously? 3:30 am???? I whined to my mom about it at one point and she said, "well, they were skiing." OHHHH!!! Then it's OK that I got no sleep last night! Never mind.
And if I whine to my brothers about it, they stare blankly at me. They don't have a concept of curfews and if I start explaining the term to them in the manner I was accustomed to, they are either hearing the Charlie Brown teacher's voice (wah wah wah wah wah) or the old " in my day I had to walk 10 miles uphill each way in 30 ft of snow" speech. They tune out immediately.
So in essence what this was about:
1. teenagers suck.
1. a. they suck even worse when they aren't yours and you have to abide by someone else's rules.
1. b. especially when they are raised by the same people that put you in a choke collar.
2. a drivers license in the hand of a 17 yr old boy is the work of satan.
2. a. no really, when you are lying awake a 2 am wondering where the hell they are, satan is at work
3. cell phones are no good if they are ignored
3. a. cell phones are always ignored when a 17 yr old boy doesn't want to come home yet
3. b. same goes for the 18 yr old boy
4. appreciate your chiclets while they do not have the capability to make you insane in this manner. It's only a matter of time.

havin' me a hiatus....

not much to post, not much time to post it.
My parents are out of town for their big annual New York trip. They used to say it was to go to the Westminster Dog Show, but I have wised up and informed them I have it figured out. They left on Tues. The dog show doesn't start until NEXT MONDAY. They aren't in New York for a dog show, they are New York for a vacation. Whatever. Either way, I am slammed. It has almost been a blessing that the kids have been out of school all week (oh yes. all week.) because I haven't had to do as much back and forth driving. I won't be so lucky next week. It'll be wonderful (and I do mean wonderful) to have the kids back in school, but it means I'll be carpool mama. Between driving them and getting their stuff together, I also have to keep track of my teenage brothers and take care of my mom's collection of dogs. Neither of those last two items are easy or enjoyable. But I signed on for the job.
ANYWAY...the point of all of this chatter is that I won't have time to be bloggin'. I'll return around Fri of next week. I know the 4 people who read this will miss me greatly :) Back soon!

day 3 and counting...

so... the kids are home again. This is spoken through gritted teeth. I am hopeful for a school day tomorrow because the temps are up today and we aren't supposed to be blasted with snow again.
I am very hopeful. Because, really, I don't think I can scrap together enough Weight Watcher points to drink the tumbler full of Bailey's and cream that is my desire today. God help me if I have to take another day of bored kids.

school's out AGAIN...

mama's got nothing. I pulled out all the stops yesterday.

school's out. go build something....

it is so cold, they cancelled school today. I don't have a memory of that happening in my childhood. Probably it did, but I only remember school being called because of snow. There isn't all that much snow, but it is cold. Scratch that. Not just cold. It is bitter, freeze the ears right off of your head, curse mother nature, FUH-REEZING out. Of course Justin wants to go out and play. I'm having to explain the finer points of frost bite to him to make him understand why it isn't so much a good idea. To keep him in the house and happy I had to get creative. I am praising the creators of the Cranium company today. I got the kids the Super Fort for Christmas. They had one big giant structure built for about a week after Christmas until I got tired of looking at it and took it all down. They screamed at me and told me how mean I was. But I can take it, I hear all of that daily. I thought to myself what a good idea it would be to put it up for awhile and pull it out on a day just such as today. And again, I have stunned myself with my own brilliance. I pulled it out an hour ago and all 3 children have been busy creating some type of structure since then. And no one is dead yet. In fact I haven't even heard an argument. Anyone with more than one child, knows that this is a miracle. I heart the Super Fort.

why is it?

so, I am giddy over a few things right now. And I don't really know why. They don't much directly affect me, but I am regardless, excited over them.
1) My husband's birthday present is en-route from Fed-Ex and should be here tomorrow. It is something so stupid, I know he will love it. At least I hope so or it will be the let-down of the decade for me. I don't know how I will wait 10 more days to give it to him.
2) Jen's family is leaving for Disney in the next few days. I told you these didn't mostly affect me. Her kids don't know about it and I just can't wait to hear their reactions. I saw a Disney commercial the other day and got almost teary with excitement. Did I mention this is someone else's family entirely? Why am I so excited? Again, no idea.
3) I made an excellent dinner last night that had everyone licking their plates clean. I felt a little Martha-ish about it.

Just had to share. That, or I got nothing else. You pick.

back to reality...

I had the most wonderful-est weekend. Carol was flown up to the frozen tundra that is the state of Ohio for the weekend. This is no small feat. She is a South Carolinian who is originally from Florida. Did you catch the earlier bit about the frozen tundra that is Ohio?? Needless to say, while shopping, I was at that stage where you just give up and leave your coat in the car because it's too damn hot to wear it in the store and too bulky to carry it and shop. Carol on the other hand, had my heavy coat with the zipout fleece liner (zipped in), gloves, scarf, headband over her ears...in the store. Girlfriend was not easily adjusted to the tundra. But did we have fun?? Oh but of course we did!!! We drank wine that was DIVINE. Made the world's greatest margaritas (and yes, I am the authority). Worked on scrapbooks and crafty projects. ate. shopped. ate. shopped. ate. ate. ate. shopped. It was a wonderful weekend. As always, I was delirious with sadness when I dropped her off at the airport.
I think she was thrilled with the weekend also. She was begging to see snow- because being from the South, she is stupid like that :) She not only saw snow, she saw it snow so hard it was blowing sideways-this was amazing to her. We drove through blowing snow that cause white-out conditions. All the things that make southerners twitch, while us northerners barely notice. So, she got the snow she asked for and all of the above mentioned fun-ness. What more can you ask for??
Oh and P.S. I had alcohol IN FRONT OF MY KIDS. Eat your heart out Dr. Janet Taylor.

cocktails and kids....

I don't mix them up for my kids, but I know they appreciate seeing me mix them sometimes. They've never said it out loud, but I think that when I'm in a particularly foul state of mind they must be happy when they see mama's blue shaker come out for the 4 o'clock cocktail. Is that horrible? I just don't think it is. I'm not an alcoholic. Does me saying that mean I am??? I don't NEED a drink to get through the day, but sometimes it sure does help me get through that black tunnel that is the 4-6 p.m. time slot (sometimes 6:30 and WOW does that 1/2 hr make a difference!).
Why am I talking about this??? Because someone I know was on the Today Show talking about the same subject this morning. It was super cool to see an old friend on TV. And it was funny to see her try to make a point about it being OK to drink at a playgroup with your kids, while a PhD or some such person tried to argue it against her. Because, really what are we talking about here? Someone who gets sloshed and gets in her minivan with the kids? No. More like someone who knows their limits and can have a drink with friends in the afternoon. What's the big deal? At one point the woman argued that it wasn't responsible parenting to drink in front of our children. But isn't it? Isn't it good to show them that it's OK when and ADULT has a drink and doesn't get total smashed everytime they start drinking.
Whatever....I don't want to start an arguement. It was pretty cool to see someone I knew, chatting it up with Meredith this morning.
Here's the link if you care to watch...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16818362/

help me out here...

I am trying to understand myself. Not that I expect anyone to "get" me, but at least I can hope that there are other people out there like this.
Is it possible to hate cleaning and still be somewhat of a neat freak? I am twisted like that. Cause I hate cleaning. Maybe hate is a strong word, but I can procrastinate on cleaning like nobody's business. And yet...I am a freak about my house being clean. I think it started when we had the house on the market. It always had to be clean because you never knew when someone was going to call for a showing. I spent every waking minute dusting, swiffering, vacuuming, tidying...you get the picture. I can't stop it now. I don't do it as much. But, for instance, I just finished vacuuming Justin's ceiling fan. Isn't that, like, a spring cleaning thing? Maybe it's not and normal people do it regularly, but I can promise you it doesn't feel normal, to me, to feel compelled to vacuum a fan. I was thinking the other day how nice it would be to take some money from the money tree out back and have a cleaning lady come in once a month. Then I thought to myself "self...that's crazy. You know they wouldn't do all the things you want them to do. Then you'd bitch because they didn't vacuum the fan blades." I'd just feel like I was wasting my money tree money.
I used to want to die if someone showed up unannounced at my home. Because, wow, the mess. Maybe it was because our house was smaller. I just don't feel now like I would die a thousand deaths if someone saw my house on any given day now. Granted there are a lot more places to stash the chaos around here. Don't dare open Hannah's closet. Ever. You will have nightmares. Believe me. But on the main floor...I am constantly wiping off counters, picking up toys, swiffering...the average person could walk into my house and not be traumatized by what they saw. Unless you opened Hannah's closet, and seriously?? I warned you about that, didn't I?? I cannot claim you wouldn't have been forever traumatized by the chaos before our house went on the market last year. I guess I am a changed woman. It's not a bad thing, it just causes conflict in my head. Like, I am compelled to clean, but I don't wanna. What is extra weird is that I am not traumatized by mess in other people's houses. So why do I feel the need to always have my house be clean? Are the clean police patrolling my neighborhood? I think not. But if they do, they can check the ceiling fan blades with white gloves. They are clean as a whistle!

Edited to add: this does not mean you won't come into my house and find dog hair all over and crumbs on the table. There is only so much one human can do in a day. I don't WANT you to find these things, but you will because I don't wanna clean it up right now.

now I know...

so a skinny, little, old man made fun of me today. Had I not had my hands full of wiggling, grouchy, pain in the ass 2 1/2 year old, I'd might have kicked his scrawny ass. He'd have thought twice before making fun of the housewife at the hardware store on a snowy morning ever again. Why did he make fun of me you ask? Was it my stained sweat pants? Was it my static loving hair? Was it the fact that I spent my 5 minutes in the store saying "stop it!" "don't touch him!" "no, you can't have that!" "no, there are no toys here!" at least 100 times a piece? No. Nope. None of those. He was making fun of me because I was looking for rock salt. In the store. Isn't that hysterical?? Like wet your pants, spit coffee out of your nose hysterical?? Yeah, no. I didn't think so either. But the skinny old man did. So did the employee who fetched my rock salt from the barn out back.
I forget now and then that the town we live in was a farm town about 10 years ago. Apparently the hardware store is still "farm town". Now I know they keep stuff like rock salt in the barn. And P.S. they only sell it in 40 or 80# bags. Not 20#. Ever. You can make fun of me too now if you want. But be careful. There is a foul mood lurking about today. You've been fore-warned.

One word...

This Moment: hungry
Your Shoes: muddy
Craving: cheeseburger
The State of Your Home: earthquake
Annoyed By: one-upping
Noise In the Background: Shrek
Really Want To: shop
Thinking About: paint
Smelling: coffee
Favorite Product In Office Supply Aisle: calendar
Don't Ever Want To: forget
Your Eye Color: blue
The Weather: snowy
Have Never Tried: sky-diving
Think Everyone Should Try: brownies
Last Vacation Destination: Scotland
The Last Thing You Had to Drink: coffee
Your Bad Habit: procrastination
What You're Going To Do Now: vacuum

just another day....

so, yeah...today's my birthday. I remember as a child the freakish anticipation that I had for this day. Like it was magical and I would suddenly feel a bit older and wiser when I woke up. I'm not sure if I did...I can't remember. Either way, birthdays no longer hold the magical spark. I am a little excited because I get Carol in less than 2 weeks for a whole weekend and that is a way cool present. And I am drinking my fave coffee this morning because Karen still remembers what I love best and that I can only get it in Michigan. Matt told me not to worry about dinner tonight so that could be good or bad...who knows what it might be, but at least I don't have to cook or clean up, right?
Maybe if I'm super lucky, I can use my birthday money to get the bookshelf I have been longing for in the living room. I'm pretty sure I never anticipated such a lame thing for my birthday when I was a child, but it seems silly to wish for a Barbie now like I did then! And the coffee pot I am drooling over is out of the question if I want the bookshelves. Older = more practical it seems.

disclosures...

as I watched the front window drip with water today, I was thinking of the former owners of our house. Again. Because the water was dripping on the inside, not on the outside where it should be. It leads me to wonder if it has always done that and they just forgot to mention it. Sort of like they forgot to mention that our lovely sliding glass door was backwards and didn't quite fit. We hated them for that. For a long time. Then a little bird (OK not a bird, it was Carol) reminded me of the list o' shit we left for the new owners of our old house to find out on their own. Things like...
- you can't use a real blow dryer or you'll knock out the power. You have to use a travel blow dryer with less wattage.
- the ceiling may fall in, in the basement. The pipes used to sweat really bad in the summer when the A/C was cranked. That may have caused an issue with the drywall. I'll never know, but the new owners might now.
- you will freeze your ass off in the winter while sitting in the living room until you replace those 50+ year old windows. I was just there this weekend and I see you haven't done it yet. You might change your mind now that the real winter is coming to SE Michigan.
- you will not be able to control the temperature in the summer either. Those windows let in copious amounts of sunshine, which is beautiful, but also copious amounts of heat. Not so good.
-the cable hook-up in the basement cuts out when the dryer buzzer goes off. Sorry, we never could figure that one out.
- you will never be able to cook a full-out meal in your kitchen. You will curse this when you entertain unless you order pizza. Jet's is right down the road though, and their pizza works in a pinch.

And that's just what I could come up with off the top of my head. I'm certain there is more they are cursing us for. So, in our much newer (by about 40 years) home we find different problems, but problems none the less. Home ownership does not allow you to escape these issues. They call them disclosures in the legal paperwork you sign when you buy or sell, but no one REALLY discloses those type of issues. Or maybe they do. Maybe I should delete this now so that the new owners of our former home don't sue us.
So I think about the little issues I left at our old house and no longer hate the old owners of our new house. I would however like to know when our house will stop being referred to as their house. And when will the neighbors will know us as more than the people who bought the Smith's* house?

*look at me, protecting the name of the former owners. Smith is obviously NOT their real name.

i'm over it...

in case you thought I was TRULY in mourning over the Buckeyes, I'm not that Ohio State crazy. I just had an overwhelming week. One of those non-stop, full of chaos type weeks that make you wish you had time to mix a drink, but alas... not even a mixing moment can be found. I did finally come out of the chaos and have a fabulous trip up North to see the Michigan buddies. It was the perfect cap to an insane week, because my good friend Julie is a fabulous cocktail shaker and she had a new, to-die-for margarita recipe. I REALLY needed a good margarita this weekend! The actual reason for the trip was a surprise baby shower for our friend Sarah who was the final 2-child hold out in our insane group. Come this March we will all have 3 children and the circle will be complete. If they would agree to it, we would probably all march our husbands in together to have vasectomies at the same time, because it is our shared belief that for our families, 3 is ENOUGH! We had Sarah believing that we were coming up for my birthday and all the girls were celebrating me (!!) while the husbands kept the children at another house (which in and of itself was a reason to celebrate!). When she arrived she was shocked to find the party was for her and babe number 3! It was a good time :) Even better for the rest of us because we had a built in designated driver. We toasted her with margaritas while she drank pink lemonade and chuckled at our drunken stupidity. The kids all had a total blast and there wasn't even one argument- monumental considering there were 11 kids between the ages of 6 and 2 in one house for multiple hours.
It is always good and bad for me to see them again. I miss them terribly. We have gotten each other through some really tough times. They mean the world to me and it sucks that our visits are so few and far between now. What is wonderful for me to see is that our kids still fall into playing with each other like they always have. It's like they were never away.
After a long, hard week it was a true perfection weekend.